We were told we could try for a baby, but there would be a 1 in 4 chance of it happening again.

This was terrifying, but the idea of never having a baby was even more scary.

Jennifer's children

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Jennifer Ross

May 2016

My husband and I were married in 2007. We always wanted to have a family together. It took us a year to fall pregnant but when we did, we were ecstatic! It takes over your whole life trying for a baby and you do it alone.

Our 12 week scan was amazing. We told our family straight away, as you do.

At our 20 week scan we were told that there was something wrong with our baby. We waited an age in a tiny room with only our worst fears to keep us company. Finally we had another scan.

Unfortunately, the specialists had reason to believe that our baby had the worst case of Holoprosencephaly.

You can read more about Holoprosencephaly here

Another test was done in another hospital but they confirmed that our baby would not survive our pregnancy. Charlotte Anne Ross was born on 24th April 2009 after a very long labour. We spent the day holding our precious little girl and saying goodbye.

It took 12 weeks for results to come back from the tests to find out what exactly went wrong with our pregnancy and whether we could have any children. It was a very dark time for my husband & I. I couldn't move forward until we found out. 

Charlotte had something called S.L.O.S Smith Lemli Opitz Syndrome. It was genetically inherited from both my husband & I. We were told we could try for a baby, but there would be a 1 in 4 chance of it happening again.

This was terrifying, but the idea of never having a baby was even more scary.

So we treated ourselves to a second honeymoon around the date that Charlotte was due. We fell pregnant on that trip! Amazing! Only for 2 weeks later to loose another baby.

Because we were so early on we didn't tell anyone. We didn't want our family to suffer any more.

We quickly tried again and by Christmas time we found we were pregnant again. We didn't tell anyone not even our parents until our 20 week scan. As that's when they could tell if our baby was ok. We didn't want to risk miscarriage by having any invasive tests done.

It was the longest 20 weeks, but worth the wait. All looked good in our scan and we tried to relax and enjoy the second half of our pregnancy. We had a beautiful baby boy called Logan Glenn on 2nd Sep 2010.

We were overwhelmed with joy and very emotional when we got to take our little boy home.

Loosing Charlotte definitely made us appreciate life more. She has taught us a lot of things. Especially how strong my husband and my relationship is. 

To everyone's shock we tried for another baby. No one thought we would want to extend our family, especially knowing that we might have to go through the same pain again. 

We had another miscarriage 10 weeks into our pregnancy. It was devastating as our pregnancies feel like a lifetime. Especially as we can't/won't tell anyone until 20 weeks. We decided to wait for a bit before trying again. We found out I was pregnant again on my 30th birthday.

Amazingly, we had another beautiful boy called Fraser Innes on 26th March 2013! Our family was complete. We were so happy. Still always thinking of our little girl we lost. But thankful for being given two rainbow babies.

Not really planned, we fell pregnant again. We were terrified as I had always lost a baby after a pregnancy so it was at the forefront of our minds that our pregnancy wouldn't last. And if it didn't then we wouldn't try again as it's such a strain on our little family. We were so blessed to have our two boys. 

Well, our baby made it. Murray Ewan was born on the 29th Jan 2015!

Charlotte and our little what ifs will never be far from our minds. We have been tested to our limits and even after all our pain, I still think we are a miracle story! Sleep tight our little angels. Until we meet again xoxo

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Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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