In 1991, just after my 21st birthday, we found out I was pregnant, overjoyed we soon made the announcement, all was going well until at 12 weeks I started spotting.We went for a scan where we heard the dreaded news: "sorry there's no heartbeat, well actually there is no sign of a pregnancy."
I was admitted to hospital to rule out ectopic pregnancy it took 3 days to confirm it was not ectopic and they did finally find the remains of my pregnancy in my uterus a D&C followed. It was a very frightening experience especially being so young. Little did I know this was just the tip of the iceberg.
A further 2 miscarriages followed the same pattern as previously endured. The way in which we were dealt with during the losses was very cold and insensitive, hours spent in the maternity dept surrounded by pregnant ladies and midwives ushering me from pillar to post to keep me out of sight so as not to cause the pregnant patients any distress!
After pressing for an investigation I was referred to my local gynaecologist I had a few blood tests and was advised nothing was wrong and we had been 'unlucki'! We went on to have a further 2 miscarriages bringing the total to 5 by 1998.
During these 7 years our friends and family members were having their children building their families we were trapped in a time warp feeling like outcasts, except for very close family nobody dare speak about what we were going through. After the 5th I had had enough of being fobbed off so I started to do my own research when I came across St Mary's recurrent miscarriage clinic in London.
I asked my GP for a referral then followed the first consultation and lots of blood tests. The results showed I had anti-phospholipid syndrome and next time I got pregnant I could have blood thinning medication. Sadly, I had a further 3 miscarriages with treatment the last one bring in 2003. Devastatingly my mum, my rock was dying of cancer and sadly lost her battle in June 2003, after she passed away we were ready to throw in the towel enough was enough.
May 2006 I had a feeling it had happened again and yes a test confirmed I was pregnant, again going through the process of daily heparin injections, I had a massive bleed at 9 weeks fearing the worst the scan confirmed a heartbeat and all appeared well. This is weird how can all be well? The pregnancy continued 12 weeks 20 weeks 30 weeks 38 weeks omg this was actually happening heaven knows how but it was real.
Maya Jacqueline was born by C-Sect on 20th Jan 2007 a healthy 7lb 1oz. My job was done 17 years in the making but she is here and she is ours. We had 17 years of absolute heartbreak and sadness we consoled ourselves with exotic holidays and nice cars but nothing really made us feel better. One thing we had throughout was each other we grew stronger and stronger my husband was and is amazing we felt the pain together. 9 years on I still have days where I think a lot about our losses and what could of been, Maya is an only child but really she has 8 siblings we will never forget them.
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