While sitting in the epau I saw a poster for the Tommy's campaign and thought that I'd never want to talk about our experience. But I need to, so my hopes and dreams weren't just a dream.
I fell pregnant on our first month trying, I was taking all sorts of supplements and I was aware of my age, time is ticking away.
I have two very beautiful, healthy children, so I can carry a baby.
We were happy and we told our family due to having an elderly grandma who we wanted to tell. I was anxious when extreme sickness did not hit me like in my first two pregnancies but thought that I was just having a good pregnancy, I had other symptoms.
At 8 weeks exactly I had a tiny bit of blood, I started getting more and more anxious so rang my midwife, she advised me to go to my GP or A&E.
We were seen quickly and the staff were lovely and we had an appointment given to us to go to epau the next day. We went to my inlaws and I had another tiny bit of blood.
On our way home I broke down and as I was waiting for the breakdown truck I started to feel different, my tummy felt emptier, I just knew!
We went the next day and the scan showed the sac but nothing in it and it measured 5 weeks approximately.
I knew my dates.
My blood was taken and I had to ring that afternoon. My results were 10000+ and I was told to go in 48 hours later for another test. This showed an increase of just 600, so it was confirmed. Another scan and another blood test 48 hours later showed no change in the sac but another 200 increase.
I wanted this dead baby out of my body, but they were worried that it was an ectopic pregnancy so I had to go in for observation.
After a night in hospital it was confirmed not ectopic. But they wanted to scan me in another week, I couldn't cope with this! I broke down, I knew my dates, the evidence of the hcg results couldn't indicate anything else, they agreed that I could have the surgery the next day.
I went back into the hospital the next day, had the pessaries and waited. The waiting was the worst thing, especially when I knew my baby was dead. But then had to convince myself, it wasn't a baby, it was cells that didn't develop properly. It does kind of help.
This was all 2-1/2 weeks ago.
I'm going back to work tomorrow, I have to force myself back to work otherwise I'll mope about the house and that's not good.
We will be trying again, we have to try, even though I am now convinced it will happen again.
Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer