#misCOURAGE story, 22/05/2017, by Siobhan
I was just about to give up on dating altogether but then I met Michael. It was pretty intense but not so much so that it burned out quickly.
We decided after 4 months that I would come off the contraceptive injection, I should've had one at the beginning of February. Fast forward to June 4th, the day I conceived our first baby.
I knew early on that I was pregnant so when I finally took the test and got those 2 little pink lines I was prepared! I've never seen my wonderful man cry, and he's not the crying type but he did that day.
We were both so damn happy! After a few weeks we told family and friends. Everyone was ecstatic, it was amazing.
Around week 6 I started spotting, I knew some spotting was normal so I wasn't too worried. However, I started to bleed every time we had sex.
I would bleed at work (I'm a dementia carer) when I was doing strenuous tasks. Trying to squeeze and old man's swollen feet into a pair of socks after a hot shower in the middle of summer....I think I sweated out about 6lbs that day.
I called my surgery to book an appointment with my gp, the receptionist told me that I won't be seen until I was 8 weeks, I repeated that I was spotting a fair bit... Still a no go from the delightful receptionist.
I called regularly up until I lost my baby on August 24th at 11+4. They either had no appointments, refused to give me an emergency appointment or I was spoken to like I was a nuisance.
And I quote "what do you expect a doctor to do about it" after I had called the last time because I was in pain.
I ended up in the walk-in centre after having the most horrendous cramps, so painful I couldn't breathe properly and I cried uncontrollably.
I knew my baby was gone, that this was definitely not normal. So they did some tests, sent me home with an antibiotic and booked me for a scan on the 25th.
My fiancé had gone to a cricket match with friends so I was home alone when the agony started again.
I had taken paracetamol, tried having a warm shower, heat packs. Nothing worked, I couldn't sit still and I felt a pressure that needed to be released so I was constantly going to the toilet.
As I bent down to pick something off of the living room floor and I felt a hot rush of fluid between my legs, I thought I'd wet myself. I put my hand there and it came away bright red. I was hysterical.
I went to the bathroom, pulled my ruined knickers and leggings off and there he was. I always assumed it was a he.
My fiancé cried for the second time when he got home. He felt totally helpless seeing me lying on the floor with a towel between my legs.
The hospital were amazing but obviously had no answers for me, which was hard but I understood why. I went back for several scans to make sure what was left was coming away.
I bled for 8 weeks but it took me months to come to terms with our loss. I was petrified it would happen again and I still am.
We are expecting our rainbow baby in January. My midwife already has my paperwork I'm just waiting for my first appointment.
I am so grateful I am surrounded by the most amazing people, my family, friends and my wonderful man. Oh and my little shit of a cat, Lilly.
Pregnant women should not be made to feel they are wasting a health professionals time.
The treatment or lack of, I had previously was disgusting and shameful. The 3 days of agony I went through could have potentially been avoided if someone had just listened.
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