I arrived at the first scan for my first pregnancy excited and optimistic for the future. It was there that I learnt I had suffered a missed miscarriage at 7 weeks. From that point on it felt like an alien invasion waiting for the medical intervention to work. I then had another miscarriage at 5 weeks before successfully carrying my eldest son to term.
Pregnancy was a nerve-wracking, unenjoyable experience, I was constantly waiting for something to go wrong.
A few years later we started trying for our second child. I suffered a further 4 successive early miscarriages. I got to the point where I was emotionally detached and refused to be excited about a pregnancy. I was just expecting something to go wrong. Luckily my eighth pregnancy worked and I now have two happy, healthy boys. I feel relief that I will never need to go through the emotional and physical pain of pregnancy again.
I was always open about what I was going through as I didn't like the feeling of it being a dirty secret. I constantly felt discomfort from those I talked to. I was made to feel that the superstition of discussing pregnancy before 12 weeks was causing it to happen.
I have never found out the cause of my 6 miscarriages and welcome any research that can shed light on this common issue so that none of my cousins or my sister have to endure what I went through to have children. I am lucky to have a positive ending.
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