Not again

7 years of trying, different health problems, 2 miscarriages, doctors & specialists and 2 failed IVF attempts. I wanted 2017 to be different.

#misCOURAGE story

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.


#misCOURAGE story by Stephanie Dobson,

7 years of trying, different health problems, 2 miscarriages, doctors & specialists and 2 failed IVF attempts. I wanted 2017 to be different.

I put it all to the back of my mind and focused on moving house, moving business & getting our first dog together. It was great, hard work but great. We both felt ready to take the IVF train again with our last frozen embryo, the one my parents kept saying was the one! This time I felt relaxed, not really bothered if it worked or not, as I’d moved on and was finally happy with my new home & fur baby.This time the nurses & specialist gave all they had to offer, a scratch, blood thinners & other medication.

Monday morning, test day! Totally shocked & overwhelmed I stared at the positive pregnancy test. “Well?!” my husband asked as I got back into bed, it was positive! Over the next few weeks we told close friends & family, and started to set appointments for scans & midwives. The IVF clinic offered a scan to check all was well and we got to see the baby’s heartbeat- it was the most amazing thing I’d seen and we asked to video it. I must have watched that 15 second video all weekend, I just couldn’t take my eyes off of it.

But our bliss was short lived as just 4 days later I was back at the clinic and was being told that my worst nightmare had come true. “ I am so sorry Stephanie but I can’t see a heartbeat anymore” No no no not again, why? How and are you sure? Were all questions going through my head! Completely in pieces and heartbroken I was asked to go into another room, one of the midwives came in to talk to us, she was very sorry and really nice but I couldn’t believe that there was no care.Everything up until that point has been a form to fill, a leaflet to read, things to do & not do, but with our loss, nothing.

Just go home & stop taking the array of medication and wait to lose it. At the time I was Hysterically crying and could barely breathe let alone talk, so I did as I was told. The next day I sat and thought about the last few days, the phone call I had the day before the scan expressing my concerns, the nurse said “well even if you are loosing the baby, you do know not much can be done?” The day of the scan & being told it was no longer, not what to do or what to expect,  just to go home and deal with it.

What followed a few days later I will never forget or fully recover from. The pain, what I saw and the overwhelming feeling of grief was just too much for me. How could no one help, why wasn’t there any support from the clinic I gave my life savings to, or any support from my GP? Thanks to myself, I found support through Tommy’s & the miscarriage Association websites , there information and forums helped me to find answers to my questions and understand what I was going through. I can only hope that next time will be different.



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Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer


Please note that these comments are monitored but not answered by Tommy’s. Please call your GP or maternity unit if you have concerns about your health or your baby’s health.

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