After my husband and I married in 2010 we decided to start trying for a baby straight away. After 6 years of being 'careful' we expected it to happen quickly and easily. We tried for 18 months before I fell pregnant, I had just convinced the doctor to refer me for tests when I got the positive. We were so happy and excited. In September 2012, when I was 9 weeks pregnant I started bleeding, we were referred to the hospital where I was told that I had miscarried.
I felt like the floor had dropped away. I couldn't feel anything except grief.
I stayed in bed for 5 days. We were told it was 'just one of those things'. We started trying again and tried so hard to remain positive and hopeful. It took another year to conceive again. In late October 2013 I started bleeding again, I was 11 weeks pregnant. This time I was told that my baby's heart had stopped bleeding but that I would need a D&C as my body hadn't miscarried. I was sent home and told to come back in 3 days for the procedure. On the way home I started having contractions. Each one felt like my heart was breaking over and over again. After I had the D&C I was referred for testing.
I had extensive tests done and in January 2014 I was told I had a uterine septum. Essentially my uterus was split into two by cartilage that receives little to no blood flow. My babies had implanted on the cartilage and weren't able to get what they needed to grow. I can't ever describe the feeling of guilt. Logically I knew I had done nothing wrong, that I had been born that way but I felt my body had let us down.
I felt like less of a woman somehow and nothing could talk me round.
I was put on a waiting list to have the septum removed and I had the operation in Aug 2014, because of the size of the septum the operation had to be repeated and was completed in October 2014. I was given fertility drugs to increase the thickness of my endometrium due to scarring from the ops and given the all clear to try again. We fell pregnant straight away. I had some light bleeds and was monitored closely throughout but my beautiful rainbow baby was born in July 2015 by c-section.
I was recommended that a breech vaginal delivery might but too much strain on my womb after having the previous operations. I miss my angel babies every day and I'll always carry them with me, but now my daughter gives me a reason to smile and laugh every day and I'm finally one of the lucky ones. I will never ever be able to thank the wonderful people at Jessops in Sheffield for the wonderful support. My baby is a miracle that wouldn't have been possible without them and we're forever grateful.
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