I wanted to share my story to show the compassion that I experienced, especially as I know this is not the case for everyone

It is also a reminder that there is a rainbow after the storm.

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.

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May 2016

I first discovered I was pregnant in January 2012, 6 weeks in I started to bleed. I visited the on call doctor who told me that nothing could be done but if the pain got worse to attend A&E. I visited A&E and was treated with respect and kindness and offered a follow-up appointment where I met Michelle, the EPAU nurse for the very first time.

After our first attempt at parenthood ended in miscarriage we were incredibly lucky to conceive quickly and even luckier when our son was born! Two years passed and we decided it was time to add to our family. I fell pregnant again very quickly but 9 weeks in the sickness stopped suddenly, from my previous experience I had a sinking feeling and contacted the EPAU where I was seen by Michelle again.

A scan was arranged which was inconclusive, was I sure of my dates? I was, but agreed to a second scan in a week to check for a heartbeat. I attended my second scan and was advised an internal scan would give a definitive answer so I agreed, it was at this horrific moment that I started to bleed heavily and pass clots,

I was on my own so the ultrasound lady held me tight. I won't forget that.

It took a few more months but we decided it was worth another try to add to our family. Just after our son's 2nd birthday and at 11 weeks pregnant I woke up and felt perfectly fine, no sickness, no soreness. I knew in my heart it was happening again, I rang the EPAU and they recognised me name and made an appointment straight away, the scan confirmed there was no heartbeat and that the baby had stopped growing the week before. Michelle arranged for me to go to the hospital for the baby to be removed surgically. I wept and she held my hand.

I had an appointment the next day and sat in the waiting room watching a couple across from me who held each other tight, their world looked like it had fallen apart and it broke my heart. I had a little boy at home, I was lucky, so lucky. When the time came for my 'surgery' I had to be left in the hospital, no one could stay with me. I woke from the anaesthetic and the first person I saw was a nurse in the recovery room, I reached out for her and asked, 'is it over?' She held my hand tight and said, 'yes, it will be okay.' I needed to hear that.

My partner and son came to pick me up from the hospital and he ran round and made all the nurses laugh. It took some time but we decided to try one last time, there was no reasoning behind my miscarriage, just rotten luck. My final pregnancy ended in the birth of our second beautiful son who is currently covered in broccoli, wakes without fail at 3am and is the most wonderful, amazing miracle.

I had 3 early scans in this pregnancy and an incredible amount of support. I wanted to share my story to show the compassion that I experienced, especially as I know this is not the case for everyone. It is also a reminder that there is a rainbow after the storm.

Go to the full list of stories.

Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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