I didn't tell anyone anything. I felt it was my burden to bear

I eventually told a friend and said it out loud. In saying it out loud I felt free. I felt like my baby was free too. Free from silent tears, free from anxiety, free from secrets.

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.

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#misCOURAGE story, 20/04/2017, by anonymous

I miscarried after drinking myself into a stupor after a break up with my long term partner. I didn't know I was pregnant.

I had really bad stomach cramps and a headache and I thought it was just the mix of alcohol and headache tablets.

I was huddled on the floor in my living room watching television early morning (4am) I was in agony, at this point I thought I'd wet myself.

When I looked I had blood all over my pyjama pants and I was still leaking. Clots of blood were stuck to my legs, I didn't move. I just cried.

Being trained to look after children and mothers I knew what this was. I felt sick. I felt disappointed.

All those false alarms and when I was really pregnant I didn't even notice. The father was MIA. I couldn't reach him. I didn't know what to do.

I bottled up my feelings and cleaned myself and the floor to within an inch of its life. I didn't tell anyone anything. I felt it was my burden to bear.

I eventually told a friend and said it out loud. In saying it out loud I felt free. I felt like my baby was free too. Free from silent tears, free from anxiety, free from secrets. 

My baby is with god,
I'll hold you in my heart until I hold you in heaven.

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Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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