I got married in November and my husband and I decided that we would wait until January to start trying for a baby. We were so excited when second time round we found out we were pregnant, a sibling for our son and a bundle for us.
An early scan showed two babies were there, sadly one had died but I was told it would either be reabsorbed or it may miscarry. In my 10th week I woke up with awful labour like pains which continued until early morning when I passed 2 sacs and one placenta. I was heartbroken but I took them to the hospital to be sent for histology.
A scan later that morning revealed another baby who sadly also had passed away. I was sent home for 10 days to see if nature would do her thing. It was not to be. I went on to take a medically managed option. 1 day and a lot of pills internally and orally later nothing happened. 2 days later I was sent for a d and c.
That was when it hit me that it was all over. This was yesterday, the same day I was booked for my 12 week scan.
I cannot describe the sense of loss I feel not how much I underestimated what women go through regardless of the stage of pregnancy. I get up for my son but at this moment I want to roll into a ball and not get up. I'm bleeding still and every time I get a cramp it's a reminder of the joy I had such a short time ago and the loss I feel now.
I am Catherine and this is my very recent story. To all the woman who have and are experiencing this, the comfort I have taken is that I am not alone and that we will try again. Not to replace what I lost, but to try to create another life so my son can have a sibling.
For today I look at him and realise exactly how blessed I am for the miracle of life that he is.
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