Say what?

This has been an area of fascination and great annoyance to me for a little while now. Inappropriate questions you get asked when you're pregnant.

Question marks drawn in white chalk on blackboard.

Pregnancy insider blog

Sure, there are a number of articles written about this but I didn't quite believe them. Surely no one really asks that? Well they do, and then some! I've picked my top four to share with you this week.

1.) Was it planned/were you trying?

Both of these questions make my blood boil. I got asked both by a couple of colleagues at work recently. Ones that I'm not that close to either. I sort of gaped like a fish whilst trying to compute how to respond. I was rather taken aback. We could have been trying for years to conceive or it could have not been planned at all – either way is that really anyone else’s business? It's a pretty personal thing and I don't think people really consider all the scenarios these questions could conjure up, which for some people may be very upsetting. I ended up just saying yes, we'd been trying for a few months but even that assertion felt like a huge invasion of my privacy! Maybe I just need to learn to say 'that's really none of your business'!

2.) Are you sure you're only 18 weeks pregnant?

This was in relation to someone who shall remain nameless thinking that I was simply 'too big' to be 18 weeks pregnant. They of course were still apparently wearing their 'normal' clothes when they were 5 months pregnant. 'Lucky you' was my sarcastic response. It seems you can't win. You're either too big or too small and people are fully prepared to pass judgement either way. Even people who have never been pregnant before. Being told that I am 'really big already' is a tad bewildering as I’m not sure what I’m meant to do with the information or how I’m meant to respond. Apart from worry about how enormous I might be come 9 months!

3.) Are you sure you're ready to have a baby?

Hmmm, well it's a bit late to be asking that now! Again, this is a pretty personal question and the answer is very much going to depend on personal circumstances. I wonder what people expect the answer to this question to be and what they'd do if someone turned round and said 'well no actually, there is so much I still want to do and I think this is going to ruin my life' ? I'm not sure you ever feel truly 'ready' to have a baby – I certainly don't! But it was very much wanted and I feel ready for the challenges that it no doubt will bring. Instead I just answered, 'yes, thanks'. Code for bog off.

4.) Can I touch your bump?

I know, this is a common one but I still find it a bit weird. I personally even find family members doing this weird. The only person I feel comfortable with touching me is my husband. Of course this is going to be different for different people but I do find the notion of people you barely know or who you have very little personal connection with asking to touch you a bit odd. It's like you suddenly become public property – at what other time do people ask if they can touch you?! Really this is a rhetorical question as people tend to ask it as they reach out to touch you, with no interest in the answer! I try and tell myself that people are just excited for me and generally love the idea of babies – whilst I try not to baulk!

Read the next instalment of the Pregnancy Insider here

The pregnancy insider profile

Follow our Pregnancy Insider, the blogger who tells it like it is, by liking our Tommy's Midwives Facebook page. Our Pregnancy Insider is 29, lives in East Anglia, practices yoga and is a big fan of House of Cards - and she's pregnant with her first baby. Look out for her blog each week. 

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