A rainbow baby to me is beauty after heartache and darkness
3 early miscarriages
My first miscarriage was in February 2011 at around 7-8 weeks. It was a dark time but you always think if it'll be fine if you try again.
So, when I met my fiancé in December 2016, we were excited to start a family together.
I fell pregnant in September 2018, but this ended in early miscarriage at around 6 weeks. During my next pregnancy I miscarried again at 8 weeks. This is when we were referred to Tommy's.
Our referral to Tommy's
We were referred to Tommy's clinic in Coventry, under the care of Prof Siobhan Quenby. Prof Quenby asked if we would like to take part in the CERM trial, which looked at whether a specific antibiotic could prevent miscarriage. We agreed, as we wanted to take any chance we could to have a family.
When we got pregnant again, we were so excited. But, we sadly had another 2 miscarriages in a row, which were devastating. Both times, our babies were tested and they were found to have extra chromosomes.
Our rainbow girl
In March 2022, after 5 miscarriages, we fell pregnant again. We were excited but understandably nervous too. The care we received from Tommy's made us feel that we weren’t alone and reassured us that we'd eventually get our rainbow.
In November 2022, under the care of Prof Quenby, we finally met our beautiful rainbow girl, Evelyn. She's everything to us. After the birth, Prof Quenby and Natalie Morris both came to check up on us and meet our beautiful Evelyn. It was such a special moment.
Support from Tommy's
Going through recurrent miscarriage makes you feel lost, empty and like you’re to blame.
I felt as though my heart has shattered into a million pieces.
Every time I got pregnant again, I would start to heal, but then I would miscarry and it became harder and harder. I also felt guilty, as if it was my fault that I couldn't provide a family for my partner, even though I knew that’s not how he felt.
But, knowing we had a support network and that Tommy's are striving to find out reasons why this happens definitely provided comfort. Every time we went for growth scans, the staff were so reassuring when they could tell we were nervous. Knowing that someone was always there whether it was on the phone, email or in person made a horrible and emotional situation a lot more bearable.
I also found it comforting to read stories of people going through the same thing. Realising we weren't alone helped make me feel less inadequate.