I never knew there was such a thing as a missed miscarriage

The best thing anyone said to us was that parenthood is a roller coaster, sometimes right from the start - I think it sums up our experience perfectly.

#misCOURAGE 01/11/17 by Anonymous 

I found out I was pregnant on Christmas Eve 2016.

We had gotten married in the summer and it seemed like the perfect way to end the year. We decided to tell our close family early on and everyone was so happy to hear our news. Shortly after New Year the morning sickness kicked in. I was so ill that I had to have an injection at the hospital to stop the vomiting and dry retching. I couldn't keep my pregnancy secret at work - after a month of seeing me pale and clammy no one believed that I just had the flu.The well wishes and congratulations were lovely, and my colleagues all reassured me that morning sickness is a sign of a healthy baby.  

I was counting down to the second trimester - when I would start to feel better. Around week 11 the morning sickness started to ease and suddenly I could eat again. My husband and I decided to brave a lunch date one Saturday afternoon and that's when I noticed I had started to spot. We brushed it off but when it was still happening on Monday I called the EPU and got booked in for an emergency scan - one day before my 12 week check. 

When we arrived there was no parking so I waited for my appointment while my husband parked the car. I already knew there was no baby by the time he arrived - it was all so quick. The sack was empty and our baby had never really been a baby after six weeks. I felt totally betrayed by my body. How could I have been so sick? Had I imagined it all. The cruellest part was that after two weeks of waiting I still hadn't miscarried so I had to have surgery too. I never knew there was such a thing as a missed miscarriage. The whole experience was very traumatic, I will never forget the pain in my husband's voice as he had to tell our family the sad news. Six months on and our baby would have been due next week. Not a day goes by when I don't think about it. 

We have been unable to conceive again so far, but the best thing anyone said to us was that parenthood is a roller coaster, sometimes right from the start - I think it sums up our experience perfectly.

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