I can't explain

I put him in my arms, I couldn’t believe he went.

Story of #miscourage by Anonymous

I can't explain.......

I am so sad
I can't explain the way I feel
Its like my heart has been delivered 
I can't explain the pain I feel

I feel so low
Like down below the core of my soul
Want to talk
Don't know 

I miss my future life
I miss the mights and could be
I miss my baby boy
If only

I think its all my fault
My mistake
My problem
My ache

My tears won't run dry
I can't explain the way I feel
I can't let go
I just want my baby in my arms

The day was cold
The final goodbye 
His heart was so strong
He took mine

I feel so shattered
So broken inside
I miss my baby so much
I can't hide the pain no matter how hard I try

The memories I have are of joy and tears of the day I found out he was mine

Every minute of every day was a lifetime waiting for him to grow but not die

He wasn't alone
His twin was long gone
It broke my heart
But I had hope in the one

My baby boy 
My loss is so strong

I look at him
And don't want to let go

I feel so much sorrow
So much grief

I can't explain the way I feel

We had issues
But they were just a little scare
His heart was still beating
And he was still there

I hoped he would be ok 
Constantly worrying every second of every day

When I had issues with my health
I didn't care
As long as he was alive
My fear was of him not being there

I love him so much
I can't explain

He is my first
My only
My dreams
My life
My happiness
My Everything

He is gone

I can't stop the pain

I can't explain how I feel
I can't explain the pain

I miss him so dearly 
I wish he was here

The night they told me he would be gone
Was the worst of my life
I begged for help
I begged for his life

I would have done Anything 
For him to stay

The love I have for him
I can't explain

I had to wait for his departure 
I wanted time to go slowly for a change

I wanted him to stay

He was so good to me 
I can't explain

His heart was beating 
Right to the end

He was so good to me
No physical pain

The experience of labour
Was my pleasure
My gain

He caused me no harm
He was a joy

My life

My loss

Gone away

I put him in my arms
I couldn't believe he went

I didn't want to let go
He was our baby boy

His name is Haadi Isa

When we found out he was a twin
Laurel and Hardy were our comedy pair
Laurel left us and now Haadi is there

His second name was after Jesus 
His mother experienced hardship
My inspiration 

The Guide
The son of Mariam

He was so beautiful 
Looked like my husband and I

Christmas Eve was the day
I didn't want to take my eyes off him
But I had to give him away

We planned our life around him
Everything gone
Forever gone away

We came home to burry him
On Christmas Day...

In the cold
I just wanted to keep him warm

I screamed 'no'
Because I didn't want to let go

My baby boy
Forever gone

I love him so much

My only peace is that he will go straight to Heaven

I wish he was with me 
But I should not cry
He is my angel in the sky

I love him so much

I can't explain...

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Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer