I found hope through Tommy’s – now I want to help others feel less alone

After nursery nurse Jess and her husband Nathan had their first baby, they went on to have 2 miscarriages. Jess turned to Tommy’s for support and recently gave birth to their second son Hunter, who attends Baby Sensory Wakefield.

Our first pregnancy

Our first pregnancy was a surprise. We’d only just got married and hadn’t planned to have a baby so soon, but we were thrilled.

I had hyperemesis (severe sickness), which was horrible, but otherwise it was a straightforward pregnancy and Hudson was born without any problems in May 2019.

When we decided to start trying for another baby in June 2021, I assumed I’d get pregnant very quickly. How wrong I was!

Starting IVF

More than a year went by and nothing happened. We got in touch with the GP but they didn’t really offer us much as we already had a baby. We both had some basic tests but they couldn’t find anything to explain why we hadn’t conceived again. They just said we should keep trying.

We decided to go for 1 round of IVF. We agreed that if it didn’t work, we’d do our best to move on with our lives and be happy that we had Hudson.

The checks they did before we started IVF showed that my levels of thyroxine (the hormone produced by the thyroid gland) were quite low, which can make it harder to get pregnant, so I was prescribed medication.  

Losing our baby

Not long after that, before we even began the IVF process, I got a positive pregnancy test. We were so happy! It feels very naïve now, but we didn’t even think about miscarriage.

But at 5 weeks I began to spot. I had a scan at 7 weeks and we were told there was no heartbeat. They were words I’d never imagined hearing.

After my first miscarriage, my mum suggested I speak to a Tommy’s midwife, as I felt very low. I didn’t feel supported by the doctors and I wanted someone to talk to.

The Tommy’s midwife really listened to me

The midwife really listened to me. She told me about progesterone and the research that shows it can help to prevent miscarriage for some women.

We decided to try again and didn’t struggle to get pregnant this time. I had a positive test within a couple of months and I took the progesterone information from Tommy’s to an early scan appointment.  

Although everything seemed fine at the 6-week scan, and I was prescribed progesterone, sadly by 9 weeks there was no heartbeat. It was awful.

Welcoming baby Hunter

When I got pregnant again after my second miscarriage, I started taking progesterone pretty much straight away. I took aspirin under medical supervision, too.

I tried very hard to put the pregnancy to the back of my mind but it was a really anxious time, especially when I was at work.  

After even the slightest twinge or unusual sensation, I would dread going to the toilet in case I discovered I was bleeding.

Thankfully, this time, everything worked out. Our gorgeous baby boy, Hunter, was born in November 2023.

Hudson is so excited to have a baby brother and so affectionate with him - he can’t wait to see him and cuddle him every day when he gets home from school (even though he wasn’t keen when I was pregnant!).  

We’re so happy and feel very fortunate.

Don’t give up hope

I really found comfort in reading other people’s stories through Tommy’s after my miscarriages. It made me feel less alone to know that other people were going through what I was, too.

To anyone who’s struggling with something similar now, I would say ‘keep trying’. There’s help out there, from Tommy’s and other people who are willing to talk.

And try to have hope. There were so many times when I thought I just wouldn’t have another baby. Be determined in asking questions and researching your care. I had to fight for progesterone and aspirin but got it prescribed with persistence.

Most of all, be kind to yourself and do things you love and that make you happy.

We're thrilled to be taking part in Sensathon for Tommy's. Hunter now goes to Baby Sensory Wakefield, as did his big brother Hudson, and they both love the classes.