When is the best time of the month to try for a baby?

What is the fertile window?

Your fertile window is when you’re most likely to get pregnant in the days around ovulation. It happens around 10 to 16 days before each period. 

There’s no proof that planning sex around your fertile window increases your chances of pregnancy. Some studies suggest it can help, but more research is needed to be sure. 

But, if you find that sex every 2 to 3 days is not possible for various reasons, you might want to work out your fertile window.

Find out more about ovulation and fertility and apps and tools for conception.

Read more about how long it should take to get pregnant.

Take a look at our pregnancy planning tool to check if you're ready to conceive.

Sex and stress 

Trying for a baby can be stressful, especially if it’s taking longer than expected. 

You might feel pressure to perform, or like you’re having sex on a schedule or you might be anxious about infertility. Your relationship and your sex life can end up affected when it becomes all about the babies.

Try to remember that it’s normal for sex to start feeling a little mechanical when you’re trying for a baby. 

This is something a lot of people experience and it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your relationship. 

Tips for stress-free sex in a relationship  

You can’t always prevent stress, but there are things you can do to manage stress better. 

Spending time focusing on each other and your relationship, rather than worrying about conceiving, can help. 

Here are a few suggestions for putting the joy back into trying to make a baby. 

• Take time to rekindle the romance. Have a candle-lit dinner at home, invite your partner on a date or start sending sexy text messages to each other. 
• Once you have worked out your cycle, book a holiday around the next time you may be ovulating. A break may help you relax and you may find sex more enjoyable again.
• Have sex for fun as well as for baby-making.
• If all the sex is proving too much, try to work out the few days around ovulation to reduce the amount of sex you have on days you are very unlikely to get pregnant.
• Some people may feel like a failure if conception doesn’t happen quickly. Even if pregnancy takes longer than expected there should be no blame attached to it. Infertility can happen to you or your partner but it is often treatable. Take the time to reassure each other about this.
• Try not to get anxious about sex and fertility too soon. Most people conceive within a year of trying.

It’s also important to remember that you and your partner were a couple first, so try to spend time together doing other things that are important to you both. 

This may even help you put things into perspective and remind you why you wanted to start a family in the first place. 

Mental health medication and trying for a baby

If you are taking medication for a mental health condition, don’t stop taking it without speaking to your doctor first. Stopping it suddenly could make your symptoms come back or get worse. 

Find out more about planning a pregnancy with a mental health condition.

When to ask for help

If you or your partner are feeling stressed or anxious about trying for a baby for whatever reason, try to give each other time to talk about it.

It can help both your wellbeing to approach making a baby as a couple, so it’s important to talk about it and support each other through the process. 

It can sometimes help to get professional support. Ask your GP about NHS counselling services, or find out about talking therapies in your area. Relate offers couples counselling with a trained counsellor but this can be expensive.

If you’ve been feeling extra stressed or anxious and it doesn’t go away or your anxiety is affecting your daily life, it’s a good idea to see your GP.  

Some people can find it difficult to talk about their feelings, but mental health problems can be treated with the right care and support.

Find out more about planning a pregnancy and managing your mental health.

Other things to do when trying for a baby

If you are trying for a baby there are things you can do to improve your fertility, reduce pregnancy risks and protect your baby’s future health.

Once you start having unprotected sex you won’t know you’re pregnant for the first few weeks. Trying to make some lifestyle changes now will give you peace of mind when you get pregnant. 

Find out about what you should be doing when trying for a baby. 

If you’re worried about fertility  

If you’ve been having regular, unprotected sex for a year and you’re not pregnant yet, it doesn’t mean you can’t get pregnant but it’s a good idea to go and see your GP. Make an appointment sooner if:

• You are over 36, as infertility increases with age.
• You have a known fertility issue, such as endometriosis or polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS).
• Your partner has a known fertility issue, such as low sperm count. 
• You are concerned you or your partner may have a medical problem that may be stopping you getting pregnant.
• You have irregular or no periods.

Find out more about the causes of infertility and about options for fertility treatment.

Read more about how to get pregnant.