Pregnancy insider blog
I haven't told them I'm pregnant yet so I've been trying to carry on as normal whilst flitting between wanting to vomit, lie on the floor (I actually fantasise about doing this whilst sitting at my desk) and crying.
If I was in a position to tell my employer I was pregnant earlier I definitely would have done as it would have been great to perhaps have the option to work from home some days or opt out of certain activities like really long days travelling to meetings. Getting tired really doesn't help with anything!
On the plus side – a few long days and a recent weekend trip to Scotland did accrue me enough TOIL to take a few days over over Easter, meaning I've had a nice long break, doing very little. Whilst this has been blissful, I am looking forward to going back tomorrow about as much as eating a big hunk of red meat with tomatoes. Even writing that made me retch!
So back to why I haven't told work – I am still in my probation period.
This ends two weeks after my 12 week scan so I'm hoping that a) I can keep it quiet till then and b) they are actually organised enough to arrange my end of probation meeting on time! I am genuinely worried that they will sack me if I tell them I'm pregnant before I am confirmed in post. There are a number of reasons for this other than just being overly anxious.
The organisation I work for don't have the best reputation for treating staff well – they barely know what HR is. There is a lot of uncertainty at the moment around resourcing and restructure is a possibility. My post is a new post so it would be fairly easy for them in this process to decide they don't need my role.
I have sought some external HR advice and although it is illegal for an employer to discriminate against a woman who is pregnant, I'm sure they wouldn't tell me this is the reason for letting me go.
I was told that it can be quite hard to prove otherwise and that it all comes down to your relationship with your employer and how much you trust them. The bottom line for me is that I don't trust them, and with around 30,000 women in the UK losing their jobs every year due to pregnancy related discrimination, I'm not telling them until I am confirmed in post!
I was recently asked to apply for another role within the organisation – a position I'd always wanted and a step up in terms of pay and seniority. Sadly for all the reasons given above I decided not to go for it. The priority right now is to keep my job until I go off on maternity leave. I do feel a tad angry about all this but hopefully there will be plenty of time in the future to focus on my career.
For now I just need to try and keep from curling up under my desk for a snooze!
Are you worried about telling your boss you're pregnant?
Follow our Pregnancy Insider, the blogger who tells it like it is, by liking our Tommy's Midwives Facebook page. Our Pregnancy Insider is 29, lives in East Anglia, practices yoga and is a big fan of House of Cards - and she's pregnant with her first baby. Look out for her blog each week.