My baby looks so different from how I'd expected. Will that change?
Yes. Premature babies look a little different from term babies, as their bodies have not fully developed.
Your baby's skin may be very red and translucent, and the eyes, ears and genitals may not yet be fully matured. She may also have hairs on her skin that she will lose over time, and she may seem very thin. As she develops she will start to look more like a term baby.
The healthcare team keeps encouraging me to help with my premature baby's care, but she seems so fragile - what if I accidentally hurt her?
Initially you might be worried about handing your baby if she is very small and ill. However, your touch and care will help with her recovery and growth and your role in hospital is a very important one. Throughout your time at the unit, the team will encourage you to play an active role in your baby's care, and will show you how to carry out tasks, such as feeding, washing and changing her nappy. As you grow accustomed to handling her, your confidence will grow and you will worry less about hurting her.
If you are worried or do not feel ready, take things at your own pace. Try to talk through how you feel with the healthcare team. They may be able to help you develop your confidence.
The healthcare team has told me I should express milk during the night, but I'm so tired - is this really necessary?
If you want to keep up a good supply of milk, you need to be expressing eight to ten times a day, including once at night. That's around every three hours during the day. The amount of milk your body produces depends on the demand, and long periods without feeding or expressing may affect your supply. Unfortunately, that does mean waking to express during the night too.
Your baby's stomach starts off around the size of a small marble so the amount of milk you get will be small. You will need a more plentiful supply when she is older though so it is useful to have extra kept in the freezer, in case you cannot feed for a while (for example, if you become ill) later on.
I just can't get to grips with breastfeeding - is it supposed to hurt so much?
Breastfeeding should not hurt. You may feel a moment of discomfort when your baby starts sucking, but after that it should feel comfortable. If you are in discomfort, your baby may not be latching on correctly, so do seek advice quickly.
The more comfortable you feel, the more likely it is that you'll continue feeding for a longer period, so it's worth getting advice from a breast feeding counsellor in the hospital (ask a nurse to put you in touch with one), or if no one is available in the hospital, call one of the breastfeeding helplines listed here.
I don't feel that I'm bonding with my baby - is there something wrong?
Some women feel that they bond immediately with their premature babies, but many don't. There are many reasons that you might find it harder to bond with your baby while she is in the neonatal unit - both practical and emotional.
Try not to worry too much about how you think you 'should' feel, unless you are feeling extremely low, despairing or anxious - in which case do talk to someone you trust on the healthcare team. They may be able to reassure you or offer some form of additional support.
Call our midwives
Remember: Tommy's midwives are ready to answer your questions, no matter how trivial you think they might be.
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