by Donella Ogilvie-Lees
My journey began in 2013. My husband and I after five years of marriage decided that now was the time to start a family. After a year of trying and not being successful I went to the doctors. After tests I was diagnosed with PCOS and told I wouldn't have children. I was devastated as was my husband, but we continued with our day to day routine.
In August 2014 we booked to go to Egypt. While there I was extremely unwell with food poisoning which didn't seem to resolve it's self once home.I thought just to be sure I'd take a pregnancy test....it was positive!!!! We were over the moon!! I told my family. My mum was crying, my dad was excited. My mother in law broke down...it was such a celebratory time! Two weeks later, I began to spot. I was at work at the time, working as a supervisor in the NHS. My manager was a paediatric nurse and walked in on my sobbing on the phone to the doctors in her office. I went straight home and told my husband.
Doctors ran blood tests and confirmed it was a miscarriage. This time everyone's tears weren't happy joyous ones.I took a week off work to get my head around the event. I was deflated and withdrawn. I went back to the doctors as obviously they were wrong, I had managed to get pregnant even if it were only for a short time, but I was told it was a fluke. We continued not being 'careful' but every month my period would come.
In June 2015 we celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary, my husband booked tea at The Ritz with an overnight stay in London for us both. We met up with friends, we drank, we danced, and had a wonderful time. Three days later we drove to Scotland to visit family. While there I was exhausted, I blamed it on the altitude since we were in Inverness, it just felt like I couldn't get enough sleep.
When we came home we went back to work. I asked my husband to buy a pregnancy test because my period was unusually late and I just wanted to make sure it was coming.I took the test and it was positive again!!!!
We took our time this time telling people just in case I miscarried again.
My pregnancy was smooth sailing until 32 weeks, my blood pressure was increasing and I was signed off from my job as an Oncology supervisor. By the end I was having daily blood pressure checks at my local hospital. When it was too high my midwife would call the main hospital and send me there where I would have to wait up to 6 hrs, be hooked up to machines, have bloods taken, only to be told that I could go home and return to the local hospital the next day. The whole process was emotionally and physically exhausting.
My family kept me sane throughout it all, my sister even walked 2 miles just to deliver me a homemade pie because I was hungry.
Knowing that I would soon have my son kept me going, I would try and get out of the house, but with all my friends having already had their children there wasn't a lot to do, mother and baby groups are quite sparse in Portsmouth. So I'd Potter round the house.
At 41 weeks David was born after being induced due to pre-eclampsia. He's 6 months now and the happiest baby I've ever seen. People ask if I would do it all over again....and they get an immediate YES.
The heartache of what could be will always be there, whether you lose a baby at 6 weeks or 6 months it was still a child. I'm thankful for my son.
If you need support, please don't suffer alone. We have details of organisations who can help.
You and your partner have both experienced a miscarriage but you may react to it very differently. Everyone has their own way of grieving and it helps to accept and respect those differences.