Dear pregnant me...let's talk about unwanted advice

Things I wish I had known when I was pregnant about...unwanted advice. People generally mean well, but at the end of the day, you and your partner (if you have one) are the only ones who get to decide how to raise your baby.

Illustration of woman fighting back against a cloud of unwanted comments

Ever wanted to go back in time to tell your ‘pregnant self’ a thing or two about being a new parent? In a series of posts, Laura does just that…taking some of the most common things pregnant women and new mothers experience and giving herself (and others) a quick pep talk! However you’re feeling, you’re most definitely not alone, take it from us!

From the moment you announce your pregnancy, it will be as if you've given people the green light to come and bombard you with their advice and opinions. Everything from whether your bump is too big or too small, to whether or not you should find out the gender of your unborn baby (I mean, Carol from down the road is absolutely CERTAIN it's a boy because of the way your hair is growing, and she is NEVER wrong, so is there really any need?) to their advice on co-sleeping, breast feeding and which brand of nappies to use, nothing is off limits.

It is going to get wearing, and on several occasions you will be screaming in your head "Back off, Carol!", but you need to learn to conserve your energy for bigger things and become a master at the polite nod and smile. While you're practising this move, try to also construct a sentence that gently but clearly states 'thanks but no thanks'. Something like 'oh yes I've heard about that, but we are choosing to do it this way for now'.

Mentally sort the advice into helpful and not helpful, take what you need, park the rest, and remember that the advice all comes from a good place. People generally mean well, but at the end of the day, you and your partner are the only ones who get to decide how to raise your baby.

A little bit about Laura...

Laura lives in Hertfordshire with 17 month old Harry, and when she can, enjoys meeting up with friends for lunch, seeing family, and watching too many episodes of Friends on Comedy Central! She was motivated to write about her experience because…

“As a new mum, with all the raging hormones and uncertainty that involves, it was just nice to hear from people who were going through the same thing from time to time, to reassure myself I wasn't losing the plot completely! So if I can give that same reassurance back to another new mum, that's definitely something I would want to do.”

Laura and her baby.

Read more about managing your mental wellbeing on our website. 

Read more Pregnancy stories

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