Premature birth - for dads and partners

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What is premature birth?

Caring for your baby in the neonatal unit

Premature birth and your mental health

You and your partner after premature birth

More information and support after premature birth

What is premature birth?

Premature, or preterm, birth is when a baby is born before 37 weeks of pregnancy. About 8 out of every 100 babies are born prematurely in the UK. 

Premature birth may happen spontaneously, which means that a premature labour starts on its own, naturally. Sometimes a premature birth may need to be planned because it’s the safest thing to do for your partner’s health or the baby’s health.

The midwife or doctor will tell your partner if there’s a known risk of giving birth early. They will explain what care they will be offered to lower the chances of this happening. They will also tell you what signs to look out for, that may show your partner is going into premature labour.  

If you know your baby is going to be born early, you and your partner can still make a birth plan. This gives you both the chance to think about what they want and do not want to happen during labour and birth. 

Caring for your baby in the neonatal unit

When a baby is born prematurely, they may need special care on the ward or in a baby (neonatal) unit. They may be transferred to a more specialised unit if they were born very early or need extra care. 

You can play an important role in caring for your baby in hospital. You can usually be with your baby straight after the birth while your partner gets any treatment they need. Caring for your baby can help you, your partner and your baby, including lowering your stress and helping you bond with your baby. But do not feel pressured into doing anything you don’t feel comfortable with. 

Here are some tips for caring for your baby in the neonatal unit: 

  • Read, sing or talk to your baby and make eye contact.
  • Use still touch (touching your baby with a still, resting hand) and skin-to-skin contact
  • Help with your baby’s daily needs, such as feeding, nappy changing and bathing. 
  • Ask the staff if you have questions.

Changing her nappy was an interesting one! We had to put our arms through the incubator doors and navigate countless wires and tubes and used sterilised water with cotton balls. We did this whenever we were there and it helped us feel like parents that little bit more.

James, dad to Robyn

Read one dad’s story about his preterm baby having special care.

Premature birth and your mental health

When your baby is born early, it can have a huge impact on your life. You’re likely to be worried about your partner and your baby as well as the other demands on your time, such as other children or work. You may feel powerless and unsure of what is going to happen. 

If you know your baby is going to be born early, you and your partner can still make a birth plan. This gives you both the chance to think about what they want and don’t want to happen during labour and birth.  

Family and friends can be supportive but they might not understand what it’s like to have a baby in the neonatal unit. They may also be worried and upset themselves. You could ask the neonatal staff if there are any support groups for parents of premature babies. Sharing stories and worries can help you feel supported and more confident to care for your baby. 

Some people feel they would benefit from having professional counselling. The GP, midwife or health visitor can tell you what’s available in your area. Or you can get details of private counsellors from the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP).

You and your partner after premature birth

Your partner will be recovering emotionally and physically from the birth. But they will also be coming to terms with giving birth early. You might like to show them our information about coping with a premature birth. You may also find some of the tips helpful for yourself.

Your relationship with your partner can be put under a lot of pressure. You may need to go back to work or you may be worried to tell your partner how you’re feeling. Talking to each other about your fears, worries and feelings can help you to support each other better and understand each other. Read more about managing relationships after premature birth.

It's important that you also look after your mental health after your partner gives birth

More information and support after premature birth

Having a premature birth can impact on your physical and emotional health. But you are not alone. There are lots of organisations that can provide more support.
 

Filippa M et al (2021) Systematic review shows the benefits of involving the fathers of preterm infants in early interventions in neonatal intensive care units. Acta Paediatr. 2021; 110(9): 2509-2520. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8453504/#apa15961-sec-0024 (Accessed: 17 January 2025)

Hall SL et al (2015) Recommendations for peer-to-peer support for NICU parents. J Perinatol. 2015; 35 Suppl 1(Suppl 1): S9-13. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4694192/#sec1 (Accessed: 25 January 2025)  

Ionio C et al (2016). Mothers and Fathers in NICU: The Impact of Preterm Birth on Parental Distress. Eur J Psychol. 12(4):604-621. doi: 10.5964/ejop.v12i4.1093. PMID: 27872669; PMCID: PMC5114875. Available at: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5114875/

NHS. Premature labour and birth. Available at: https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/labour-and-birth/signs-of-labour/premature-labour-and-birth (Accessed: 25 October 2024) (Page last reviewed: 10 January 2024. Next review due: 10 January 2027)

World Health Organization (2023). Preterm birth. Available at: https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/preterm-birth (Accessed: 25 October 2024) 
 

Review dates
Reviewed: 27 January 2025
Next review: 27 January 2028