Tommy's PregnancyHub

Dear pregnant me...let's talk about relationships and parenting

Things I wish I had known when I was pregnant about...relationships and parenting. It is normal to get frustrated with each other sometimes. But all it will take is a reassuring cuddle, as you sob exhausted into your cornflakes, to remind you that you chose to embark on this journey with this person for a reason.
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Ever wanted to go back in time to tell your ‘pregnant self’ a thing or two about being a new parent? In a series of posts, Laura does just that…taking some of the most common things pregnant women and new mothers experience and giving herself (and others) a quick pep talk! However you’re feeling, you’re most definitely not alone, take it from us!

You read an article once about the rates of divorce sky-rocketing following the birth of a baby, and in your first few months of parenthood you might find it pops into your head again! You will suddenly find yourself in competition with the person who was once your ally - who is the most exhausted? Who has changed the most nappies? Who has gone the longest without food of water? Of course you know you win on all of these points, but your partner will definitely say otherwise.

Romance will go out of the window (there's nothing quite like asking your partner to check your stitches for you to kill the mood) and conversations will revolve around whether or not you're running low on Water Wipes. Added to this, the dreaded sleep deprivation will severely limit your ability to rationalise and your patience with one another will be tested to its limits. At 3am on night feed seventy-billion, you may seriously contemplate whether or not you could get away with murder as you listen to your partner peacefully snoring next to you. You’ll find this wondering will intensify when they complain about being tired the next day…

The simple fact of the matter is, that your priorities are different now, and you and your partner are no longer the centre of each other’s universe. Instead, you've been gazumped by a little person who eats, sleeps, poops and repeats. You are both doing the best you can, even though neither of you have any idea what's going on. You are both exhausted, and you are both on the journey of a lifetime.

It is normal to get frustrated with each other sometimes. But all it will take is a reassuring cuddle, as you sob exhausted into your cornflakes, to remind you that you chose to embark on this journey with this person for a reason. They are the one who can put all of your broken pieces back together. They are also the one who won't let you leave the house with a breast pad stuck to your leg. That in itself is worth its weight in gold.

A little bit about Laura...

Laura lives in Hertfordshire with 17 month old Harry, and when she can, enjoys meeting up with friends for lunch, seeing family, and watching too many episodes of Friends on Comedy Central! She was motivated to write about her experience because…

“As a new mum, with all the raging hormones and uncertainty that involves, it was just nice to hear from people who were going through the same thing from time to time, to reassure myself I wasn't losing the plot completely! So if I can give that same reassurance back to another new mum, that's definitely something I would want to do.”

Laura and her baby.

Read more about managing relationship problems and pregnancy on our website. 

Read more from Laura in our blog.