I lay on my bed crying

"There have been times where I've felt like the only person going through this horrible situation (even though I know I'm not) and felt that people just don't know what to say. The more we talk about it the more we can support each other."

don-and-carys-llhm-tommys

A father/daughter team, Carys and Don are supporting and raising awareness for Tommy's by taking part in the London Landmarks Half Marathon 2019. 

By Carys and Don 

Carys

During the past year I have had 3 miscarriages and I can honestly say it's been one of the hardest things I have ever been through.

As soon as my husband and I were married (almost as soon as we walked out of the church!) we were greeted with 'ooh you know what happens next' and 'any baby news yet then?' This made me feel so anxious and almost under pressure!! We knew we wanted a baby and okay, we weren't trying that long before we found out I was pregnant, but those months weren't easy. Each month waiting to see if your period was going to arrive and if it didn't, peeing on endless amount of those sticks wishing that those two little lines would show up and the frustration this caused.

Heading into our first scan I had no idea what was about to happen to burst our little bubble of excitement. Hearing the words 'I'm sorry Carys, there's no heartbeat' was truly devastating. Lying there during my first scan during our third pregnancy and hearing those words again was just heartbreaking.

The truth is you really don't know what struggles people are going through, whether this be fertility problems, miscarriages or just simply not being ready for a baby yet, everyone has their own story.

I have shocked myself at how strong I have been throughout this whole experience. Yes, there have been many times where I've wanted to scream and thought 'why us?' or I've been lying on my bed crying and wondering why this awful thing had to happen to us, not just once but three times, but I know we are so much stronger. We have come through this together, with the amazing support of our family and friends, and one day it'll be our time.

Talking about our experience has really helped and being open has made us both realise how many other people are in similar situations. There have been times where I've felt like the only person going through this horrible situation (even though I know I'm not) and felt that people just don't know what to say. The more we talk about it the more we can support each other.

Running has been a great focus for me recently and knowing we are raising money for Tommy's makes it even better. Dad and I ran the Cardiff 10k on 2nd September and I felt so proud of us both! (Especially hearing people shout 'Go Team Tommy's!’)

What we've been through this past year has been so hard and from people coming forward and sharing their experiences with me and reading so many stories online I've realised it is all too common! If the research that Tommy's does can help reduce others going through the same thing then that's amazing.

I don't know what the future holds for my husband and me yet, but I do know that I will keep running and supporting the fantastic work that Tommy's does.

Don

As a parent, it’s hard to see your children going through difficult times. Watching Carys and son-in-law, Dai, experience three miscarriages has been particularly painful for all of us. We are extremely proud of the way they have coped over the last year and how they have talked about it with their friends and family.

By talking openly, they have helped others to talk about their experiences as well, which, in turn, has helped Carys and Dai hugely.

Although we had been there for them physically and emotionally, I wanted to do something practical to show my support to Carys, Dai and for Tommy’s the Baby Charity, whose resources have taught us so much as a family about miscarriage. As someone who likes running, I had heard about the first London Landmarks Half Marathon in 2018 and decided that I would like to have a go at the next one in 2019 and raise money for Tommy’s.

When I registered, I didn’t realise that the run was organised by Tommy’s. It was only when I had the notification that the ballot was open,  that I learned that Tommy’s was the main organiser and benefactor. Perfect! I can run the Half Marathon and do it for Carys, Dai and Tommy’s. I wasn’t successful in the public ballot but I was offered a place in Team Tommy’s.

Carys enjoys running too, so we both signed up for the Cardiff 10k and ran it on September 2nd for Team Tommy’s, and kickstarted our fundraising campaign for Tommy's. My wife, Catrin, and Dai cheered us on, in what was a very emotional run. Now we can't wait for the London Landmarks in March!

Join Team Tommy's for the LLHM 2019

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