Tommy’s charity fundraising story, 31/05/2017, by Stacey
Late last year Stacey and Keith suffered the loss of a much wanted and hoped for baby when Stacey had an early miscarriage.
As they approach what would have been Stacey’s due date, the couple have taken on a unique and gruelling fundraising challenge to commemorate their baby, affectionately nicknamed Beanie, and raise vital funds for miscarriage research.
Here is their story
This is a week that has started and will end in celebration. We celebrated our wedding anniversary at the start of the week and will be celebrating our son’s birthday at the weekend with a few of his friends and a lot of pizza.
A few weeks ago, the thought of celebrating anything seemed impossible. We lost our baby.
We took the test one day, and although a little faint, it was positive. The two lines were there.
Me and Keith were over the moon. We’ve talked about Baby Number 2, or Beanie as we have called her for years and it was finally happening.
Concerned about the faintness of the line, we waited a few days. It felt like the longest weekend of our lives.
We took another test. Only the one line.
At that point we had 1001 different thoughts going through our heads, the main one hoping that it was just a mistake and baby was ok.
The next day confirmed it. We had miscarried.
Our son’s first year at school has gone by really quickly so we’re excited to be spending as much time as possible outside with him over the summer holidays. I can’t wait to see what mischief we’ll get up to together!
But I’m also dreading July. We miscarried last year and Beanie’s due date would be the middle of the month.
It’s taken me a while to deal with our miscarriage. The first few weeks can seem so bleak afterwards, can’t they?
The closer July gets, the more I think about what could have been. We can’t change that it happened. Life has its ups and down and miscarriage sucks, to put it politely!
So, thinking something along the lines of ‘Keeping the body busy to still the mind’ we’ve set ourselves a family challenge.
Our aim is to bag 20+ munros (a mountain in Scotland over 3000ft) over 4 weeks. It’s going to be a huge challenge for us! Mentally, physically and emotionally.
As each couple who has suffered a miscarriage knows, it’s never the same as anyone else’s. Neither are the emotions. I remember the sadness, the despair but also the anger and frustration.
I was worried before we set our challenge that I was becoming ‘unhinged’ (that was the word I used to describe myself to my husband, he’s put up with a lot!)
But now, I find that since I’ve decided on a different approach to July, that by doing something positive and active I am now able to talk more openly about it.
Beanie existed, of course she did, however briefly.
I like to think that by doing something like this over the summer, spending time outside on family adventures, doing activities she would’ve grown up doing, well I reckon she would’ve loved it. And I hope we’ll do her proud.
We’d love to raise a bit of money for Tommy’s at the same time as getting our hefty dose of adventure in!
You can read more fundraising stories from our amazing supporters here.
If you've suffered the same heartbreak at Stacey and need more support, our information on pregnancy loss may be able to help. You can also phone our midwives who are trained in bereavement support and available from 9 - 5, Monday - Friday to help in any way they can. Phone them on 0800 0147 800.
Stacey is hoping to raise as much as possible for Tommy’s to help save other parents this heartbreak by funding research into the causes and prevention of pregnancy complications leading to miscarriage, stillbirth and premature birth. You can sponsor Stacey and her family here.
Lewis writes about his journey and why he chooses to run for #TeamTommys.
There are times when it all feels like too much, but at those times I think of my daughter, who was such a fighter, and suddenly everything seems more manageable again.
"I truly feel without the support of the EPU and the peace of mind given to us through the Tommy's study we would not be where we are today."
Little Anderson was born under the care of the Tommy's Early Miscarriage Research Centre at London Imperial.
My miscarriage story started in February 2016- it was early, at about 6 weeks and I put it down to one of those things.
Looking back at our experience of miscarriage, 10 years on: a partner's perspective
It’s ok to take off the cape. A fathers perspective on loss and mental health.