Story by Gina,
I go married and we quickly planned on having a baby. I had it all planned and thought it would happen quickly.
Two years of trying and just started tests to check fertility when I fell pregnant. I was overjoyed. At five weeks pregnant the sickness started and got worse and worse but I just focused on my baby I was going to get but 9 long months felt like forever.
I was diagnosed with HG and was being sick 50 times a day not keeping any good or drink down and was in and out of hospital.
I thought I can’t deal with pregnancy again once my little girl is born. Apart from this everything was going fine. However I woke up at 23 weeks 6 days with stomach pains. They were coming and going every few minutes.
I phoned the hospital and they said everything sounds fine but to go on and be checked. I went straight to the hospital and sent my husband to work as they said everything sounded fine on the phone. I arrived at hospital and got checked, the midwife said you are already 10cm dilated and I had to give birth there was nothing they could do.
They wheeled me to delivery and I was screaming no I’m not doing it it’s to early. I phoned for my husband to come. There were about 30 different people in the delivery room and they told me to prepare for the worst, and it would be a late miscarriage (for 1 day). suddenly there was just a midwife and my husband in the room, the doctors had all given up. My daughter Poppy was born and suddenly the room was full again.
She had a heartbeat.
The doctor came over and said he was stopping treatment as her heartbeat wasn’t responding and there was nothing he could do. They gave me my baby girl, Poppy Hope. She was very long but a tiny 720 grams.
She survived for one hour 45 minutes in my arms. I felt like the world had stopped and everything good on the world had been sucked out. Things like this didn’t happen to me, I had heard about it but never thought I’d have to experience the worst pain imaginable.
I had aching arms and longed for my baby girl and the only way I could survive was to try for another baby. Three months after Poppy was born and on what should of been her due date, I found out o was pregnant again.
The due date was the day Poppy was born. My rainbow baby sent directly from Poppy. My baby was another baby girl and pregnancy after loss was the second hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
So scary knowing that you can lose anything at any minute. Holly came early at 36 weeks 4 days but luckily she is thriving.
My perfect gift from her big sister
After a heart-breaking missed miscarriage, Clare shares the reality of pregnancy after loss and what it’s really like to bring your baby home.
We need to talk about it, miscarriage should not be something that we are embarrassed about. How are we going to get through it if we can't talk it through together?
I've experienced hell but every time my little boy smiles at me I'm in heaven.
But what I really wanted to share was our rainbow baby journey. We found out in august we were pregnant again, cue all the anxieties about the first one and wondering if we might go through it all again.
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