Story by Daisy,
My husband and I had our first son while we were still in high school but we beat every off and are so happy and have another son, too (19 and 13 y/o boys).
In March my identical twin sister had a stillbirth. I felt her pain but never ever thought I would experience something similar. She is now 7 months pregnant with a healthy boy.
I found out about this surprise blessing a few days before Christmas and was NOT expecting that positive! And just like that our world changed.
I had never in my life felt more happy, more blessed.
We made a life time of plans. At 9 weeks I started bleeding. Went in for ultrasound after several attempts to get a Dr appointment and nobody seemed too concerned.
But ultrasound confirmed “no fetal cardiac activity seen” and baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks 3 days.
My body has been violently getting rid of my baby for two days.
The physical pain is unreal, but my mind is worse. At this moment, physically, I feel much better than earlier.
But I can’t understand.
I’m 37 and only have one ovary and I’m afraid this was our last chance though I am desperate to try again.
My heart was opened to its only desire. I loved this baby. Always will. I am so afraid I did something wrong. It all feels like a dream.
From the day I found out until this nightmare.
I wish so badly I could change it. And I feel so volatile I don’t know what to do so I’m writing here.
I feel like I’ve overcome a lot in this last week, there’s definitely more good days than bad, but I still miss what could’ve been.
I am very confused, no one has said blighted ovum and no one has told me anything about my miscarriage.
All tests indicated Claire was healthy, and her egg count numbers were high enough for us to embark on the egg sharing programme
I’m trying to be okay, but I’m also going to allow myself to hurt and grieve as lost as my body needs.
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