We made a life time of plans. At 9 weeks I started bleeding.

Baby loss submission

Story by Daisy, 

My husband and I had our first son while we were still in high school but we beat every off and are so happy and have another son, too (19 and 13 y/o boys).

In March my identical twin sister had a stillbirth. I felt her pain but never ever thought I would experience something similar. She is now 7 months pregnant with a healthy boy.

I found out about this surprise blessing a few days before Christmas and was NOT expecting that positive! And just like that our world changed.

I had never in my life felt more happy, more blessed.

We made a life time of plans. At 9 weeks I started bleeding. Went in for ultrasound after several attempts to get a Dr appointment and nobody seemed too concerned.

But ultrasound confirmed “no fetal cardiac activity seen” and baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks 3 days.

My body has been violently getting rid of my baby for two days.

The physical pain is unreal, but my mind is worse. At this moment, physically, I feel much better than earlier.

But I can’t understand.

I’m 37 and only have one ovary and I’m afraid this was our last chance though I am desperate to try again.

My heart was opened to its only desire. I loved this baby. Always will. I am so afraid I did something wrong. It all feels like a dream.

From the day I found out until this nightmare.

I wish so badly I could change it. And I feel so volatile I don’t know what to do so I’m writing here.

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