Story by Jada Mendez,
January 8th 2019 my boyfriend and I found out I was pregnant.
Even though I'm 18 when we found out and I'm still 18 when all this happened, it felt like a dream come true for me.
I'd be a Mum like I always wanted to be. My obgyn said my due date was set for September 9th 2019.
My boyfriend and I were so excited because it was our firstborn. A week and a half before my first ultrasound to hear the heartbeat, I started to bleed.
I got worried and went to the ER. Everything seemed normal but they couldn't find the baby on 3 different ultrasounds so they sent me home and asked for a followup appointment the next Monday.
The next day February 8th, I began to bleed more and I noticed blood clots and pain in my stomach.
My boyfriend was at work and when he came home, my pain was worse and I called an ambulance. By the time I left my house to the hospital my pain went from a 5 to an 8.
I was there for about 3 hours when they told me its a miscarriage.
I carried our precious baby for 3 months. 9 weeks and 4 days to be exact. In 76 days I grew attached to that little perfect baby.
We never got to see them on the ultrasound or hear their little heartbeat.
Writing this story is too difficult for me right now because this happened 2 days ago. The physical pain is nowhere near the amount of pain I have emotionally and mentally.
If I still had tears, I'd be crying right now but all that's left is this hole in my heart. All I wanted was to hold my little baby and now I find myself stuck wondering how their heartbeat would have sounded like.
Wondered what their first word would have been. And all the other firsts. No pain can amount to this kind of pain in my life.
To know I never got to meet the child I was suppose to love and care for was taken away before I could even hear their heartbeat for the first time. I do not wish this upon any one. I now find it hard to smile, to eat, to shower, and even to brush my teeth.
I haven't gotten out of bed since the night I found out my little one is now heaven.
I am not OK and I don't know when that will be but I know it will be one day.
“I felt an overwhelming rush of sadness: sadness for the loss of my first grandchild and sadness that my own baby was going through so much pain.”
Anne from North Wales reflects on how she supported her daughter who had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks.
Danielle and her husband Paul experienced a missed miscarriage before their first daughter Eva, 5, was born. They had 3 more heartbreaking losses before self-referring to Tommy’s National Centre for Miscarriage Research at Birmingham Women’s Hospital. Danielle gave birth to baby Louie in July 2019.
”If I can help just one person get through this awful experience, then it is worth it. I want people to know that they are not alone.”
After 9 miscarriages and a termination for medical reasons, Ellie decided to take part in a medical research trial. Soon after, her first rainbow baby, Aidan, was born. Two years later, Ellie and her husband Mike decided that it was time to try again. They sadly lost two more babies to miscarriage. Ellie tried again and fell pregnant for the 14th time. She gave birth to her second rainbow baby, Sam, in 2019.
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