Story by Caitlin,
I was told January 6, 2019 I was having a miscarriage at 12 weeks.
When I had my first ultrasound in the ER done, they said there was swelling in the uterus that signifies a pregnancy but there was no gestation sac. And if “there was anything” in my uterus it was measuring about 2 weeks.
I have been through this process about 40+ days now. Every other day, I get horrible pains and pass blood clots.
There is no sign of a fetus in this aftermath.
I am very confused, no one has said blighted ovum and no one has told me anything about my miscarriage except that I need to watch for signs of major blood loss.
This would’ve been my second child, and my doctor doesn’t seem to care very much about me.
He told my ER doctor there was “no reason for him to come in”. I’ve done countless hours of research to only come up empty handed. They said it was natural but it’s hard for me to grieve unless I completely understand the situation.
The ER told me that it was most likely due to too many/too little chromosomes and that the process would be done naturally. My “doctor” told me to make an appointment the next day but then told me when I called there was no reason for me to come in.
Without any blood tests being done at all. I was not properly prepared for this in any way and my mental state has shut down to a point where I feel little to no pain to what has happened to my child because I cannot comprehend what is happening to my body.
I want to grieve like a mother who just lost their child but I have no medical background to it.
I’ve been passing blood clots every other day for at least a week now and I really just want someone to tell me what is going on. My husband is trying so hard to take care of me but I am afraid to even go to the grocery store because of my unpredictable bleeding habits.
I have no idea what labour pain even feels like because I had a scheduled c section with my son almost 3 years ago due to an unsuccessful forced turn.
I am scared to even be alone in my own house with my son.
No one will answer any questions I have without pointing out the obvious facts of my miscarriage.
After 22 days of horrible pain, it stopped. Now it’s only bleeding.
The bleeding has stopped and started. My doctor still won’t see me. He’s ordered no ultrasounds. I’m on my own.
Seeing my family doctor the 25th of February.
I feel like I’ve overcome a lot in this last week, there’s definitely more good days than bad, but I still miss what could’ve been.
All tests indicated Claire was healthy, and her egg count numbers were high enough for us to embark on the egg sharing programme
I’m trying to be okay, but I’m also going to allow myself to hurt and grieve as lost as my body needs.
In 76 days I grew attached to that little perfect baby.
Baby loss happens too silently. Every story counts. Add your voice to help us #BreakTheSilence.
We have information and support for anyone who has experienced the loss of a baby, whether through miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death.
Our forum is a secure place where anyone affected by baby loss can come together and connect as a community without fear or judgement.