Breaking my silence

Our baby was between 8-10 weeks when I had a miscarriage - it was the lowest point in my life. It still breaks my heart now thinking about it and it was 7 years ago.

Story by Amy Ditchburn, 

Our baby was between 8-10 weeks when I had a miscarriage - it was the lowest point in my life.

After being told we only had a 1% chance of falling pregnant as I had various fertility problems, she/he was our miracle baby.

I’ve never felt so much love than when I had that smallest of life growing inside of me. The morning I woke up and saw that I was bleeding broke my heart, I remember ringing the doctors and speaking to the receptionist on the phone and she bluntly saying”well I suspect your having a miscarriage “ she said it in such a cold uncaring way. I didn’t want it to happen,

it was the worst pain/ feelings. Not many people wanted to talk about it, because people didn’t know what to say, mostly comments like “ it’s one of those things that happen” you really don’t want people to say that, you want people to listen to you and to talk about it openly. It still breaks my heart now thinking about it and it was 7 years ago.

Since then we’ve had 2 rounds of IVF 1: ended in a chemical pregnancy/1: failed pregnancy and last year we had 2 embryos in the freezer that failed to thaw. So you could say we’ve lost 5 babies.

We are still waiting for our miracle baby and we still get people telling us “why you bringing that up it happened years ago” let’s break the silence

Please let’s break the silence and talk about miscarriage and pregnancy loss