It’s hard enough going through a miscarriage. It’s harder still when the general silence surrounding miscarriage prevents women from speaking about their pain, opting instead to suffer in silence. Sadly, 79% of women say they feel like a failure after losing their baby, and 67% say they feel they can’t even talk to their best friend about their experience.
So it takes a lot of courage to share a miscarriage story not just with those close to her, but also with her 1.6M YouTube subscribers. The Sacconne-Jolys are very used to vlogging all about family life, entertaining millions with their funny anecdotes and video-documenting their children, dishing out tips, games and advice.
Anna’s miscarriage vlogs were something different: a woman trying to stay upbeat in the face of huge personal upheaval and intense internet scrutiny.
She was very open with the state of her mental health;
"I jumped back into everything very fast and I probably shouldn’t have, as I have opened myself up to so much criticism and it is affecting me more now because I am obviously in a more vulnerable state."
It has now clear that not only is she having to process a miscarriage, she is havingn to do it in the face of hundreds of negative comments online,
"Every time I put up a full length Instagram picture I would get fat shaming, body shaming comments, every single time, telling me I was fat, obese.
"I even had people set up a hashtag 'saveobeseanna' and it did get to me because of the mental state I was in already.
"It was crap timing, honestly. Bash me all you want when things are fine in my life but when I've just lost a baby.
"I felt empty inside and then to be attacked by all these people and have videos made about me, all the fat shaming comments and the body shaming comments and it was just too much."
This is not the first time Anna has been targeted by trolls. Back when she and Jonathan live vlogged their daughter’s birth were subjected to disgusting comments, with one viewer saying they hoped their baby 'would be stillborn.'
We don’t think we need to state how awful it is that strangers put their own cruel enjoyment ahead of their consideration for a recently bereaved woman’s mental health: it’s plain to see. We stand by the thousands of people who have rallied around the Saccone-Jolys during this horrible time.
We think that Anna is doing an incredible job in raising awareness around miscarriage: it is unacceptable that 1 in every 4 pregnancies end in loss during pregnancy or birth. It’s only in talking about it that attention will be focused on miscarriage, and finding ways to prevent it will be given the attention it truly deserves.
Anna is also highlighting the plight of thousands of women whose mental health suffers and intensifies at traumatic times, such as losing a baby through a miscarriage or a stillbirth. If you watch Anna’s video and it reminds you of you, or someone that you love, don’t suffer alone. We are here to help – read our advice pages here or call our Midwives. They’re trained in bereavement counselling.
Lastly, don’t let anyone’s nasty comments get under your skin. Having a miscarriage is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, and it is not your fault. Miscarriage shamers should get nothing but the denial of the attention that they so desperately crave.
You can find more information on support after miscarriage, including how to support someone who has had a miscarriage here.
Kings College London published a new study today, which found that more women suffer with mental health during pregnancy than previously thought.
Tommy's own Professor Andrew Shennan has been recognised with an OBE for his work in maternity services.
We have received a huge amount of coverage for our #SleepOnSide campaign this week. These are some of the commonly asked questions about the research and the campaign, and our responses.
Nicola writes beautiful and uplifting posts about her experience of losing her first baby, Winter Wolfe, and parenting her second child, Raven Rain. Here she explains why she’s supporting Tommy’s Sleep On Side campaign.
I didn't need ten days, I passed my baby the next day, I knew I was no longer pregnant, the second scan confirmed a blighted ovum, but to me that wasn't a blighted ovum, that was my baby.
On that Monday I remember saying to the nurse, "I'm worried it might be ectopic." Her reply was that it probably wasn't. And that was that.
The best thing anyone said to us was that parenthood is a roller coaster, sometimes right from the start - I think it sums up our experience perfectly.
I have always been someone who believes in everything happens for a reason but when something happens THRICE I can only try to be positive.