Guest blog September 2016
The years after losing your baby can be challenging and significant dates, such as anniversaries, can be particularly painful.
This year Daisy Pilsworth would have celebrated her fifth birthday. In view of this, her mum Carla decided to run the Royal Parks Half Marathon with a team of friends in the hope of raising £10,000 for Tommy’s.
Here is Carla’s story
My story, journey, and involvement whatever you want to call it with Tommy's, started almost 5 years ago in 2011.
On Sunday 13th February 2011, I was 37 and a half weeks pregnant. Ashley and I were all ready to meet our daughter and were very excited about welcoming her into our family.
My pregnancy had been great, no real problems, I'd felt relatively well and thought I looked pretty good too!
That morning however something didn't feel right. The baby hadn't moved as much during the night and after a call to the maternity unit, off we went to get checked out.
On arrival at the hospital we were met by a midwife who showed us into a room and hooked us up to a monitor.
We heard our baby girls' heartbeat and felt a sense of relief.
Whilst waiting for the consultant we decided where we would go for lunch. We stayed on the monitor for about 40minutes and were then seen by the consultant who had some concerns that the baby's heart rate was quite slow and was worried she might be in distress.
After a few minutes of debate he decided it would be best to get the baby out, what happened next was a bit of a blur as the baby's heartbeat slowed even more and I was taken straight to theatre for an emergency caesarean.
I had suffered an acute placental abruption which had starved the baby of oxygen but despite the doctors' best efforts our daughter was stillborn.
Daisy was perfect in every way, thick dark hair just like mine when I was born and weighed a healthy 5lb 14oz.
Tommy's offered me great support over the weeks that followed; the website, leaflets and phone line were all so useful in my hours of need. I never knew before there was a need for such a charity, I never dreamed I would need to use it.
In August 2011 I found myself on the Tommy's website again... looking for advice on pregnancy following stillbirth. Again I found useful leaflets, publications and a great source of support from the website. Later that month the leaflets I was reading changed to coping with miscarriage after an early scan told us this pregnancy wasn't developing.
Over the next 4 years I used various support charities helping us through our fertility and pregnancy journey.
Following a diagnosis of polycystic ovary syndrome, endometriosis and sub-fertility we found ourselves going through IVF. I was hoping that this would mean I could again use some of Tommy's leaflets that help support through the next pregnancy.
In November 2014 that's exactly what happened, but again an early scan told us about another early miscarriage.
2015 hasn't been any easier and again I have turned to Tommy's for support.
In September this year we were thrilled to find out round four of IVF had worked.
We wondered and hoped possibly for twins as we had two embryos transferred. Unfortunately our dreams were shattered very early on and we have dealt with another miscarriage, and on top of that just last week I underwent surgery to remove a twin ectopic tubal pregnancy.
Some of you might be thinking how much more can she take?! But those of you who know me, know that giving up is not in my makeup and if I want something I will do all I can to get it. I don't intend on giving up on our dream of having a family but I do want to do something positive following the heartbreak we have endured.
Which is what made me sign up and commit to these various challenge’s. I need something new to focus on for a while. For the last 5 years I have been pregnant, been trying to get pregnant or been getting over being pregnant.
Over the next few months I want to raise as much money and awareness as possible about pregnancy and the complications, heartache and emotion that comes with that.
1 in 4 pregnancies will end in miscarriage. 1 in 200 babies each day are stillborn. Numbers and statistics that are way too high, numbers and statistics that will never change unless we all start talking about them, being open and raising as much awareness as we possibly can.
Early in 2016 I decided I could and I would run the London Marathon. Having not run a mile since I was on the hockey team at school, this was not going to be an easy task for me.
I struggled with the training, had many a tantrum, spent a few of my training runs hiding in the park and playing on the swings – but I did it – I managed to train as much and as a hard as I could, and on the day determination and adrenaline got me round the gruelling 26.2 miles – 12 miles more than I had done in training and 26.2 miles more than I ever imagined I could run.
With the help, love and support of my very generous family, friends and colleagues I raised over £10,000 for the incredible Tommy’s.
Running the London Marathon has inspired me to do more and along with that I have also inspired others to join me. On October 9th 2016 I will be taking part in the Royal Parks ½marathon with my husband Ashley; and by our sides will be a team of over 25 people – all running for #TeamDaisy #DoingitforDaisy.
I am overwhelmed by the love that we have been shown and the number of people that want to join us. By creating this team I would love our joint efforts to be able to raise another £10,000 for Tommy’s. So please do all you can to get behind us.
Daisy would have celebrated her fifth Birthday this year, I honestly cannot think of better ways to celebrate her anniversary and do something with people I love in her memory.
Thank you all.
If you want to show your support for Team Daisy then you can make a donation at their Just Giving page here.
If you want to read more about ideas of how to commemorate your baby, then go to our page on remembering your baby after a stillbirth here.