Tommy’s news, 24/01/2017
Plans to create a new memorial in Princes Street Gardens in Edinburgh will finally give many bereaved parents somewhere to commemorate their lost littles ones.
Elizabeth Begbie went into early labour at 20 weeks after being told the sad news that her baby had passed away.
‘They said to me the baby had been dead inside of me for a while. They didn’t go on about movement a lot 30 years ago and it was my first baby, I didn’t know.’
Once the baby was born, the body was taken away and Elizabeth wasn’t even told the baby’s sex. She later found out that she had had a girl.
‘In those days, you didn’t question things. My husband asked if we should arrange a funeral but the hospital said they would deal with things. I was shut off and left lying in this room. I could hear crying babies. No one came to speak to me. I was just devastated, in shock. Then the nurse came and said, ‘You can go now.’’
Elizabeth struggled to cope after the loss of her baby and went on to suffer another miscarriage.
Her third pregnancy led to the birth of her first son Alastair, and two subsequent pregnancies gave her sisters Victoria and Samantha.
The joy of having these children helped Elizabeth cope with her grief, but she never forgot the first baby she lost.
Following the Mortonhall scandal in 2011 where a crematorium was using a mass grave for the babies’ ashes, Elizabeth decided to investigate what had actually happened to her daughter’s body.
After a lengthy process, Elizabeth discovered that the baby was taken from the original hospital to the city’s sick children hospital and cremated.
Upon the decision to create a memorial for bereaved mothers and fathers, Elizabeth was one of the parents consulted over the design of the new bronze memorial.
She is appreciative of the fact that there will finally be a place for her to go for a walk and remember her daughter.
We are pleased that plans for this memorial are finally in place. It will hopefully give some solace to families who were deprived the opportunity to grieve properly.
If you have suffered the heartache of loss and want ideas of how you can commemorate your baby’s life, you can read our page about different ways of remembering your baby after a miscarriage.
Holding a ceremony or creating an in-memory page can be a comforting way of remembering your baby who was born sleeping. We have collaborated here ideas on how you can remember your baby, with examples of what other parents have done to commemorate their little ones.
No matter how early or late you miscarry, you might feel grief-stricken by your loss. One of the ways to cope with this grief is to acknowledge it by commemorating your loss, of both your baby and the future that might have been.
With so little to remember their baby by, it can be difficult to know how to commemorate the huge loss, of both their baby and the future that might have been.