There I was, at 13 weeks pregnant being asked if I had got my dates correct. That's when my whole world fell apart. There was no heartbeat, our baby had stopped developing at 6 weeks. My husband, our 3 year old little boy and I were ushered into what was called "The Sunshine Room" where a midwife told me that sometimes ladies lie about how far they are so they can get an early scan and that miscarriage is very common and the next time we fall pregnant everything will be fine.
I was sent home and that night the bleeding started. That was mine and my husband's 1st miscarriage. Over the next four years we went on to have another 3 miscarriages and 2 ectopics. It's was hell on earth, that is the only way I can describe it. Every time we were told that we had lost our baby I couldn't look at my husband, I couldn't bare to see that pain in his eyes.
And throughout all of this I had to try and hide my pain from our little boy and be strong.
I felt so alone, friends were announcing pregnancies, family were telling me to stop putting my husband through this pain and to move on.
Looking back I do not know where I found the strength to carry on from.
I lost both my Fallopian tubes to the ectopic pregnancies but I still would not give up. My husband kept saying to me if we don't explore every option available to us then all this pain and suffering has been for nothing. I knew he was right and we decided to have one attempt at IVF but it would only be 1 attempt and we agreed that if it didn't work we would have to start living our lives again.
On the 7th April 2015 we welcomed our Rainbow baby into the world, the 1st girl to be born into my husbands side of the family for 85 years! Our little boy has his longed for sibling. Our family is at long last complete.
I will never forget my 6 little babies, they have changed my life forever. A life is a life no matter how short. I know now that if it wasn't for them I wouldn't have my little girl.
We never found out what caused the miscarriages or the ectopics and we had had no complications conceiving our son.
It's was the darkest period of our lives but because of what me and my husband went through we are stronger and are proof that anything can happen and miracles do happen.
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