We started trying for a baby as soon as we were married and fell pregnant on honeymoon - riding the high of meeting the perfect man - having the perfect wedding this was going the start of our perfect family! We were ecstatic!
9 weeks later I was recovering from emergency surgery from an ectopic pregnancy that nearly killed me - shock - depression - the agonising emptiness - I could literally feel my heart breaking with every breath I took.
Our perfect little person was gone - forever. We started trying again as soon as the doctors said we could - what followed was 4 years of grief and stress as we desperately tried to fall pregnant but lost a further 4 babies. During that time friends seemed to fall pregnant effortlessly - our niece was born which nearly destroyed our relationship with my brother in law and his wife as we struggled to show how happy we were for them whilst aching to hold a newborn of our own.
After the 4th miscarriage we decided to stop trying - and it was as if a huge weight has been lifted from our shoulders! We went on holidays and had fun with our friends and family! However one day the familiar pregnancy feelings returned and somehow I was expecting again - we were cautiously hopeful some days but mostly completely terrified for the full 9 months - I had to be signed off work for extreme anxiety and was convinced right until the point that Jamie was put on my chest that I would lose this baby just like the others.
But he was here!
And we were loving finally being a mummy and daddy - it was everything we thought it would be! We were a family at last - when Jamie was 7 months old I found out I was pregnant again and when he was 15 months old baby Sarah came flying into the world 5 weeks early and completed our family!
We are so lucky x
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