When we left I was devastated and sat in the car sobbing for an hour.

I went on to get pregnant 3 months later and have got 2 fabulous boys but did find my pregnancies were altered by the miscarriage.

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.

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April 2016

by Nancy Kucharik

I was 7 weeks pregnant and began to bleed slightly. I visited A&E and as it was so early in my pregnancy, I had to have an internal scan. 

This showed a heartbeat and I was told to go home but that if the bleeding got worse I had a direct number to contact them on.

After a week of bleeding at the same rate it suddenly got heavier. I returned to hospital for another scan and was told that there was still a heartbeat but it was faint and the chance of the baby surviving was small and that I was to return in a week for another scan.

When we left I was devastated and sat in the car sobbing for an hour.

The difficulty was that as much as I tried to be very matter of fact that I was not going to have this baby, there was still a faint heartbeat so it was still alive which was giving me a bit of what I now know was false hope.

I went a week later for my scan and there was still a faint heartbeat so my hopes were raised again. A week later when I went for another scan they confirmed that there was no heartbeat.

I almost felt relieved as I now knew for certain but I was devastated at the same time.

I had been bleeding this whole time but was told at the scan I would need to be scanned again to make sure that everything had cleared from my body. I was convinced it hadn't as my bleeding hadn't increased or stopped but at another scan they confirmed it had.

I had only told my parents about the pregnancy but they had been so excited to have a grandchild that telling them was the hardest part, I felt like I was letting them down.

The way I got my head around it was to think that obviously something with the development of this baby was not right (as sick as it sounds I used to say it probably hadn't got a head to my husband which I don't think was the right thing to say! ), I know a lot of people who have had miscarriages don't find that thought a comfort but I really did.

I went on to get pregnant 3 months later and have got 2 fabulous boys but did find my pregnancies were altered by the miscarriage.

I always felt that the minute I let myself believe that the pregnancy was actually happening that I would jinx it so I was cautious all the way through. Not buying any clothes until the very last minute and every time I went to the loo I would check for blood. Sounds crazy but I was that sure it would happen again.

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Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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