When I found out I was pregnant it was great. However, things started going wrong fairly quickly with the doctors saying she wasn't growing properly.
It all ended at 26 weeks when at a scan they couldn't find her heartbeat.
I was devastated.
After that everything went quickly and in a blur really. At 10pm the next day I gave birth to my baby girl.
I refused to see her and felt I wanted nothing to do with it. However, when I left the hospital my heart broke even more at the strong feeling of leaving something behind.
I changed my mind a day later once at home with this almighty pull to see her. Which I did.
I have never forgotten my first born baby girl and I now have 2 girls and they remind me everyday of my little girl. My oldest knows she has a big sis that is in heaven and so will my youngest when she is older.
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