When everything that is around you is black nobody tells you it can get blacker

It can do to shades words can't describe.

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.

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October 2016

When I miscarried my first baby it came at a time of great grief, my sister had died of breast cancer 7 months earlier.

When everything that is around you is black nobody tells you it can get blacker, it can do to shades words can't describe.

I had a lot of sorrow to live with after, but always thought one day I would meet my baby and it would be okay.

6 years later to the exact same time I was pregnant again, I'd had 2 daughters to add to the one before my miscarriage and when the due dates were for the same week I prayed for a different outcome.

Oh how I prayed. I began to bleed at the exact same time on a Thursday night, this time my husband told me not to cry on my own.

Same story, just six years apart.

I felt sorry for the kind nurses and doctors as I cried during their tests because I knew there would be no baby. They were lovely.

I went home and told my children I had a sore back and waited for it to be over. It wasn't. I ended up 4 days on hospital with an emergency op and blood transfusions.

Physically they were brilliant at taking care of me. When I had to have a scan and to check what was happening and cried throughout everyone was silent- I think then they realised my true loss.

Now I'm home and yes I try to sleep between my husband snoring on my left and my 10 month old rolling in her cot to my right; I so miss my baby inside me.

I so miss you and everything you would have been. I will love you forever xoxo

Go to the full list of stories.

Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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