What now?

Will one more try get us to the family we want or more grief to deal with.

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#misCOURAGE story, 16/05/2017, by Julia

I am a year on from our 5th miscarriage.

I am still lost, do we carry on, we had 4 losses in just over a year, but how long do we carry on with the hopes and dreams being lost.

All the time our daughter is getting older and I don't want to feel we miss her growing up she is 12 now.

The other option is to give up but then I am never going to have our rainbow baby I long for and will I ever get my head round that?

Will one more try get us to the family we want or more grief to deal with. I am also older now 42 so am I too old anyhow?

We will put a smile on whilst going to my niece 1st birthday next weekend but inside I will be saying why not me? What did I do wrong?

Everyone says time will heal but I feel more lost each month. I am so lucky to have a daughter I know that, so shouldn't I be able to just let go and move on?

I'm trying everyday but it hurts and I don't want to burden others who want to get on with their own lives. For now I get up, go to work smile and hope, for answers, for a miracle.

One day maybe I will be OK again but not yet.

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Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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