My husband and I decided fairly soon into our relationship that we wanted a family together. We weren't "trying" as such it was more a case of "if it happens then so be it". After a couple of years nothing had happened and my husband was diagnosed with a degenerative condition which meant he had to be put on medication and we were told not to try as they were unsure of the side effects to a baby. He was taken off of the medication a little while later as it made him unwell so we resumed trying.
We both had tests but 4 years passed and still nothing. Turns out I have PCOS and we were told our chances of conceiving naturally were slim to none. Regardless we kept trying. 7 years in total! Then one day I realised that something wasn't right so I took a test. As the posture line slowly appeared my eyes filled with tears of joy! Finally! I told my doctor and they sent me for an early scan which confirmed I was indeed 5 weeks pregnant!
Excited we told close family and friends, we had waited so long after all!! 6 weeks later I noticed a bit of pink when I went to the loo. I was advised to attend A&E as it was late in the evening and they would be able to book and emergency scan for me. 3 days later I had the scan. The sonographer looked at the screen and I could just tell. I should have been approximately 11 + 3. "I'm so sorry I can't find a heartbeat." I just lay there waiting for her to finish her job. She said the baby had stopped growing at around 10 weeks. She ushered me into another room where I waited for a doctor to go over my options with me. I was numb. I was told I could either wait for the miscarriage to happen naturally, take a pill to get it going or "have the product removed surgically" as she so eloquently put it. I chose the latter. I was booked in for Monday which meant having to go back the next day (Friday) for a pre op exam. As I got out of the car in the hospital car park I felt this almighty pain and a "gush" I rushed to the loo to find I was bleeding heavily.We went up to the unit to be seen and I had to go to the loo 3 more times within half an hour, then I realised my clothes were now covered in blood too.
Not wanting to cause a scene I sent my husband a text saying "please don't cause a fuss but I can't stop the bleeding and I can't get off the loo."
I then heard him almost shout at someone "excuse me my wife is losing my baby in the toilet she needs help" and within seconds I had a consultant in there with me. She was concerned and helped me to the room next door where she tried to stop me bleeding. At this point there were liver sized clots coming out with each painful contraction. She called for help. I was haemorrhaging. All of a sudden I had a team of people rallying round me. I had to sign forms, have needles poked in me left right and centre, I didn't have time to think about myself! I was so worried about my husband. I ordered him to go home and get me some clean clothes, pick my mum up and let her know what has happened.
Next thing I know I'm waking up to a nurse rubbing my hand and taking my blood pressure. I was wheeled back up to the ward where my mum and husband were. We chatted I made jokes pretending I was fine. They left. I stayed awake all night. I cried. I lost my baby. My little Button. That was in May of 2014. That October I was delivering pumpkins to a friend and just didn't feel right. I was due on that day but didn't have my normally monthly symptoms so I took a test to rule out pregnancy..... But it was positive, as were the next 3! Terrified I held onto my husband and cried. A looooong 9 months later and at exactly 39 weeks at 6.39 on a Saturday morning, my rainbow baby boy was born. He is now 10 months old and everyday is precious! I can't thank the staff at Kingston hospital enough. Not only did they save my life, but they helped me bring a new life into the world. X
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