I discovered I was pregnant in late July after attending A&E thinking I was suffering with food poisoning as I was being sick and having stomach cramps.
The doctor did a blood test and then 2 hours later came and asked if I knew I was pregnant. I burst out crying as we hadn't been trying to get pregnant and were absolutely shocked.
We had both decided our family was complete after having our last son 10 years before and especially after becoming grandparents just over a year ago and with our daughter being due in a few weeks too.
I was then scanned to check for an ectopic pregnancy due to the pain I was in. The scan showed that luckily it wasn't an ectopic but I had to go back 2 days later to the Early Pregnancy Unit to have an internal scan.
When I had the internal scan it showed I was 6 weeks and a day and we saw a strong little heart beating away and I fell instantly in love.
Over the next few weeks we told our older children and family and they were really happy for us and we started making plans.
Then 4 weeks later out of the blue I started spotting, my doctor's was closed so I went to A&E to be checked over and was told that if I was miscarrying there was nothing that could be done and they booked me in for a scan 3 days later.
They did an internal examination that showed my cervix was still closed, which they said was a good sign but I was sent home with no guidance or advice about what to expect or what could happen.
The following morning the bleeding appeared to have stopped but come the afternoon I started bleeding again but it was only light bleeding so I tried not to worry. The following day the bleeding became heavier and I started getting really bad cramps which were like labour contractions.
I went back to A&E and was checked over and told it was probably the start of a miscarriage and was offered 2 co-codamol and told to go home and wait for the scan the next day.
The bleeding and cramps stopped again a few hours later but the following morning at the scan I was told the baby had no heartbeat.
I was absolutely devastated as I had begun to get really excited and was starting to look and feel pregnant and then suddenly it was all snatched away from me in an instant.
I was then offered to wait for the miscarriage to happen naturally which they said could take up to 3 weeks, to have tablets or to have a d&c. I opted for the d&c as my daughter was going to be induced the following week and I needed to be there for her.
I had it done the following Tuesday, the day before what would have been my 12 week scan.
My daughter had her baby boy a week later (10 days ago) which has helped me a lot but seeing her with him is hard sometimes as I'm not going to experience that moment with mine.
My husband has said we could try again if I want to but I really don't know what to do. I think I'm going to wait a few months and then decide either way.
Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer