The truth is I'll never be okay because I can't go back to that time to change anything

There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of her and the gorgeous woman she would have turned out to be.

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.

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October 2016

On November 2nd 2015 I found out I was pregnant. I was 6 weeks gone already, I had no clue what to do or what to say as I was only 15.

There was so many emotions running through me, one minute I was smiling the next crying, I had no clue what I was going to do.

I had been to the midwife got everything sorted and I was due my first scan on December 12th, my boyfriend and I were so happy that we were going to see our baby for the first time....

Then it came to December 2nd, I had felt fine all day no stomach ache, no signs...

Early next morning I had jumped in the shower before getting ready for college and as I were showering I seen blood on the shower floor, I thought I had just cut myself while shaving.

I then noticed that it was clots of blood... I panicked and called for my sister to call our mum to come quickly. As soon as my mum seen the blood she knew I had to go to hospital..

I got to the hospital they sent me to the maternity ward to get a scan done just to make sure everything was okay. I couldn't hear a heartbeat or see anything on the monitor.

The nurses spoke between themselves then called for a specialist to come.

That's when they told me I had misscarried... I was still in shock and didn't know what to do.

All these doctors and nurses running round, my mum was filling out forms for me. I had to undergo a D&C as my placenta had doubled its original size.

It was the most heartbreaking thing to happen in my life, ever.

A few days later after I had been discharged from hospital I got a phone call from the hospital asking if I wanted to know the sex of the baby I had lost... I would have had a baby girl....

Now to this day I still blame myself for what happened, I think what could I have done different to prevent it happening but there was nothing at all I could have done.

I see a councillor once a week to talk about how I feel, how I'm doing, but the truth is I'll never be okay because I cant go back to that time to change anything... There's not a day that goes by that I dont think of her and the gorgeous woman she would have turned out to be.

Elle Amy Campbell 12-02-2015

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Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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