We had a beautiful one year old daughter following a straight forward pregnancy, when we found out we were expecting again. We were delighted as we wanted a sibling for our daughter. We had our first midwives appointment, the booking appointment, and for some reason I felt like I wasn't pregnant at all. It seemed odd discussing where to give birth when I felt empty!!! Sure enough two days later I began to bleed. I was advised to go to A&E to be referred for a scan.
They couldn't find any evidence of a foetus although my blood results showed a high level of the pregnancy hormones. They admitted me, thinking I may have an ectopic. I knew I had passed the foetus as I had seen a tiny sac but had flushed it away in my panic, it wasn't enough for the doctor though, he wanted to see the hormones drop properly before I was allowed home.
It was an awful few days and I just wanted to recover at home and see my little girl.
Afterwards was odd because hardly anyone knew I had even been pregnant so I just made out that I'd had a virus. Happily I fell pregnant again straight away and this time all was well, another daughter, and we were over the moon although I did not enjoy the pregnancy as I expected to see blood each time I went to the toilet. We did not try as such for a third baby as I felt so lucky to have two, but when we found out about number three, obviously we were thrilled. I think we both hoped for a boy to complete our family.
However, the same thing happened. I had attended an appointment at around week ten, and the midwife asked if I felt pregnant. I didn't! My boobs were not hurting and I hadn't felt queasy for a couple of days. Sure enough, a week later, I noticed the tiniest trace of blood when I went for a wee. I opted not to go to hospital this time, I just wanted to sit it out in my own home. It was loads worse than the first, I was having actual contractions and it took hours for the foetus to come away. I felt it go and heard it as well!! It was only 11 weeks into the pregnancy.
I can't imagine a late miscarriage. It must be so awful.
I recovered well, and we decided to try for the third again, this time thankfully it was successful, and we had our baby boy. The strangest thing I found was that there really was no support after my miscarriages. The midwife was lovely on the phone and reassured me that it was not my fault, that it was more than likely a faulty chromosome at that stage of pregnancy which meant the foetus wasn't viable. I was lucky and have a lovely supportive family, I was able to recover and grieve and move on. But I think there should be more out there to help women through the emotional and physical pain. You do feel a definite period of grief that is hard to explain. I was incredibly lucky to be able to try again and complete my family but I will never forget the two babies that never made it.
Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer