Shock of an ectopic

I warned my husband that we wouldn't walk out of the hospital with a smile - it felt too wrong.

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#misCOURAGE story, 02/03/2017, by anonymous

My ectopic happened as a surprise to us. I didn't even know I was pregnant. 

For months I'd been feeling tired and hadn't been sleeping properly, but I put this down to stresses at work and a long commute. 

I'd been suffering from a lot of pain in my left hip, which I'd put down to bad seating at work. My periods had happened when they were supposed to so I never thought that pregnancy could be the reason for any of the symptoms.

I started to get worried when I was bleeding again, only 7 days after my last period. I called the doctors who booked me in for some blood tests. I never made those tests.

The night before my doctors appointment I nearly fainted on the train home with the pain. I got off early and called my husband - I couldn't travel any further on my own.

When we got home the pain subsided enough for me to eat dinner and have a good nights sleep. I even turned the computer on in the morning to do some work before my doctors appointment.

But, I had a shower and the pain started again, worse than the night before. I couldn't move, I called my husband back from work, I was in so much pain I struggled to get dressed.

Still, we went to the docs where she thought I had appendicitis, I couldn't do a pregnancy test as I couldn't drink and keep anything down.

In the end she sent me to A&E, where they confirmed I was about 3 months pregnant!

I warned my husband that we wouldn't walk out of the hospital with a smile - it felt too wrong.

After a lot of tests I was put on a ward with the aim of having a scan in the morning. 

I was too weak in the morning and kept fainting when I sat up, after a lot of commotion I made it to the scan. They couldn't see anything in the uterus but a lot of haze of my right hand side - it was confirmed as a ruptured ectopic.

I went straight down for surgery, as I was internally bleeding. They removed the ruptured tube along with all the remaining tissue and then I began the road to recovery!

I was out of hospital within a few days, with no mention of a check up or any further support. I had the direct number for the ward if I had questions, but there's only so many times you feel you can call! I do have to say that everyone on the ward was amazing, I couldn't fault their care and compassion. 

I was offered counselling but I never felt I needed it as we hadn’t known about the pregnancy until it was too late. Our main focus had always been about me getting better. 

What I did need was support on whether the pains I was feeling were normal and if certain symptoms were anything to worry about. Everything online gives emotional advice, but nothing to support physically after surgery. 

What I didn't know was that the emotional side would get harder as time went on. As more and more months passed by with no joy in conceiving again. 

I am now nearly two years on from the ectopic and I've been recommended to see a lovely lady at a private hospital. I'm tired of being sent on my way from the doctors surgery, being told that "I'll be ok", "Give it time", "You're still young" (I'm 36!), "The pains you still feel are normal!"

For something that isn't that unusual, not many medical professionals know how to deal with an ectopic.

I'm going for tests to find out why I'm still getting pain and why I've had no joy in conceiving. I'm hoping one day we'll get our rainbow baby. 

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Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer


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