Sharing Bad News is Horrible

Sadly the scan showed I had lost the baby, there was no heartbeat.

#misCOURAGE story

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.


Early miscarriage

#misCOURAGE story Ella

I was so excited to find out I was pregnant with my first child, we had been trying, the pregnancy was planned and dare I say it we hadn't had much trouble conceiving.

We forward planned and saw my 12 week scan would be the week before Christmas. So we started planning a wonderful surprise for the family, cards from the baby to be with scan images and lots of excitement that Christmas would be wonderful.

Week after slow week progressed and the Saturday before my scan on the Monday I started bleeding. I went to A&E and waited nervously to see a Obstetrician. They were positive and believed it to be minor. They would expedite my scan for tomorrow if I wanted.I was happy to wait until the planned time.
Sadly the scan showed I had lost the baby, there was no heartbeat.

We were obviously devastated, 5 days before Christmas when all our plans had been finalised. My husband had to call everyone and deliver tragic news. I didn't want to leave home not knowing when the final bleed might take place. I eventually had to go to hospital as nothing happened for over a week.

I have gone on to have 2 beautiful, healthy children who are now 4 and 2, but with both I told people as soon as I saw them, I felt I would have so much more support as they were more prepared. It was such a lonely time and in hindsight it probably didn't have to be.



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Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer


Please note that these comments are monitored but not answered by Tommy’s. Please call your GP or maternity unit if you have concerns about your health or your baby’s health.
  • By Brenda (not verified) on 24 Nov 2019 - 04:56

    I turned 40 on the 14th of November. On the 19th, at my 12 week scan I found out - to quote the Dr- "this baby is dead". The baby had died at 8 weeks. This was my 3rd baby. I have two healthy kids.
    This pregnancy was planned however as soon as finding out I am pregnant I was so unsure about the decision. However I was slowly starting to be happy about it as the first trimester was coming to an end. This miscarriage has left me so confused, wondering if my thoughts manifested themselves into this. Did my body reject this baby or did the baby feel unloved? I would do anything to fix this, to tell my baby I am sorry, that he/she is very much wanted and loved. I just need him/her to come back. I will not question anymore, I will not complain anymore. I just want to back to being pregnant with him/her. I promise I will be different.

  • By Cloud (not verified) on 15 Nov 2019 - 09:40

    I found out on my birthday that her heartbeat stopped a week ago at 15 weeks. We thought that once she cleared the first trimester and all the various tests, it was a matter of time we could cuddle and hold her in our arms in April next year.

    It’s been 2 weeks since that day... the pain of losing her and emptiness doesn’t seem to go away.

  • By Lucy (not verified) on 10 Oct 2019 - 18:04

    I am currently miscarrying our baby that sadly only lived till 7 weeks. I am waiting for a surgical procedure tomorrow to remove the pregnancy. For the moment i am living in hell and experiencing the worse pain physically and mentally. Support and love to everyone who is going through this. The stories of others are helping me while i grieve x

  • By Emily (not verified) on 19 Oct 2019 - 02:41

    My last ultrasound two days ago showed no heartbeat and I took the medication to complete the miscarriage on the same day. I’m still in shock and trying to find some kind of normal in the midst of it all. Had no idea I would feel this kind of emotional pain. Baby was almost 9 weeks along. We are coming up with ways to memorialize baby and not let this be in vain. It is helping. Best wishes on healing.

  • By pulane (not verified) on 29 Jul 2019 - 17:06

    Still don't believe I'm no longer heart is broken,it was my first pregnancy

  • By Lucie (not verified) on 7 Aug 2019 - 17:46

    I’m so sorry for your loss x

  • By Whitney (not verified) on 1 Oct 2019 - 01:49

    I found out today I had a miscarriage as well, and this is my first pregnancy. It is devastating! I am feeling your pain my friend.

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