Secondary infertility and loss

Having another baby has consumed my life for 5 years and it's enough.

Story of Miscourage

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.

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Story of #miscourage by Natalie

It has never been easy for us to conceive.

The first time it took us 18 months and then I was in my twenties. After the birth of my daughter we started trying again quickly as we knew it may take some time.

I harboured a secret hope that second time around it would all be simple.

2 years later I got my blue line and we were ecstatic. I planned how I would tell my little girl that she would be a big sister and we were so excited to complete our family. I began spotting at 11 weeks and the loss followed quickly after.

The grief was overwhelming and like nothing I had ever felt before.

I cried every day for months and felt so cheated. In the course of trying again we discovered a multitude of fertility issues in both my husband and myself so completely gave up hope of extending our family.

Against all odds we conceived again and all I kept thinking was, 1 in 3, this one will be OK. I saw good omens everywhere, I felt horribly sick and tired and I did everything right. At my scan, we discovered the pregnancy had not progressed past 7 weeks. Somehow it's not as bad the second time around. I'm still devastated but I know I got through it once and can again.

I feel immensely lucky to have my daughter and my heart breaks for all those out there who cannot be mothers at all. I am done now and I have to come to terms with that too.

Having another baby has consumed my life for 5 years and it's enough.

I cannot go through this again, I don't think my heart can take being broken again. I'm sorry baby, you would have been an amazing big sister and I'm sorry that I couldn't give you that but more than ever you feel like my little miracle and I'm so glad we have you to help us get through this.

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Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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