The saddest thing for me, has been watching my own darling daughter go through the same thing

Like me - she will never forget. I am 50 now, and the pain will always be there.

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.


May 2016

I first got pregnant in 1987 and gave birth to a beautiful girl in March 1988. I suffered really badly with what I now know was PND, but it was left undiagnosed and has had an affect on me for many years. In 1990 I was pregnant again, I was so happy. My then husband was in the Royal Navy, so I knitted a pair of booties to give to him when he came back from his tour of duty. The morning he was due home, I woke up with terrible pain and blood. The doctor came out and confirmed I had miscarried.

I was heartbroken, and my husband just "didn't get it". We moved a month later because of my husband's job, and I went to see my new GP. I told her I "still felt pregnant", and she told me I was grieving. Six weeks later, I had to call my doctor out because I was bleeding so heavily. She confirmed that I had been pregnant and got me to hospital where I found out I was 16 weeks pregnant.I was so angry - both at myself and life in general.

My marriage fell apart - but he left me with a parting gift - I was pregnant again!

I lost my baby three weeks later. Time moved on and I met someone else. People were telling me I should be grateful for the child I already had, and of course I was, but there was this ache in my heart - I wanted another baby. I went to see my GP and was referred to see someone about recurrent miscarriage. I had a hysteroscopy, and we both had genetic tests done. Nothing wrong!

Eventually I was pregnant again and immediately saw a consultant, who put me on progesterone, junior aspirin and folic acid. I got to twelve weeks, and hesitantly started to hope. I got to 20 weeks and really started to believe. I got to 38 weeks and my husband left me!

I gave birth to our beautiful boy in 1995 - just me, the midwife and a couple of puffs of entinox. It was wonderful. I didn't care that my husband had gone, I was relieved. I had my girl and boy and that's all I wanted.

I had four more miscarriages after I had my son, all of which I mourn

I light a candle for each of them on their birthdays, and I say goodnight to them every night. The saddest thing for me, has been watching my own darling daughter go through the same thing, as her mum, I wanted to take her pain away, but obviously I couldn't.

She is happy now, she has two beautiful "rainbow boys", with a lot of help from the medical profession. Like me - she will never forget. I am 50 now, and the pain will always be there.

Go to the full list of stories.


Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer


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