In 2012, I had my first daughter. So when we decided to try for another two years later, I didn't forsee any problems.
I managed to get pregnant straightaway. Everything was fine, but when we went for our 12 week scan we were told that there was no heartbeat and growth had stopped at 12 weeks. We were devastated. I opted to have an EPRC instead of miscarrying naturally.
After a couple of months, we decided to try again - after all we were told the statistics. The chances of two missed miscarriages were huge. Again I got pregnant again quickly, but at 8 weeks I began spotting, and because of my past history, the midwife sent me for an early scan.
I couldn't believe it when the sonographer told me the same thing - no heartbeat and the foetus had stopped growing at eight weeks. I remember, just after the scan a doctor trying to reassure me by telling me that after three miscarriages, they investigate why this might be happening.
I wasn't reassured - all that was going through my mind was that I'd have to go through this again before I'd get help?!
I was totally distraught and broken. Its a strange grief to go through as its not like when someone dies and everyone knows about it. Someone had died, but apart from a couple of close family and friends, no one knew about it. I didn't talk about it.
Luckily, my sister is a nurse and was able to recommend me to a specialist and we were in position to go for private treatment. Blood tests showed that I had NK cells - natural killer cells, which were my body's antibodies killing the foetus as a foreign body.
I was given steroids and other medication to stop the NK cells after conception - and it worked!
Again, I got pregnant quickly but this, under the private doctor I got the medication I needed and frequent scans for reassurance. My second daughter, my miracle baby, is now a very healthy 8 month old.
I will always grieve for those two babies that I lost but know that my circumstances meant I was lucky enough to get help. I think the NHS is amazing but if I hadn't been told about alternatives and if I hadn't been able to afford to go private, then my beautiful, crazy daughter wouldn't be here and I can't imagine that life.
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