As my first pregnancy was not planned, maybe it was not meant to be. At 12 weeks it was all over, but this only made us want it more! We wanted to be 'mum and dad'.
Next time, the weeks crept up to 12, then 13,14,15 passed before again there was bleeding and no heartbeat. How much we could take? There were two more losses before we had a referral.
Our fertility tests came back clear, my body appeared to just give up. Why us? I'm sure everyone asks the same. We are married, homeowners, I work as a nurse, my husband a mechanic, we did everything right!
Baby 5 held tight until 25 weeks, we were finally told that she was viable! We were able to hold on to hope, only for it to be shattered when at 2 days old, she grew her wings.
Now there was a mum and dad returning to home without a baby. We had got used to the term 'late miscarriages', and tried to hid them, but now, we had already announced her to the world, finally found her sex.
This time, we had a neonatal death over our heads. People in the street asking about our baby was heart breaking.
Baby 6 grew their wings at 18 weeks. How could it just keep going wrong?
Finally, Baby 7 was born at 35 weeks - a healthy, but tiny little girl!
A year later, at 32 weeks, I had another stay in special care with a second tiny daughter. Baby 9 at 28 weeks wanted to hang on. I was given steroids, and eventually got just past 30 weeks.
She was our third and final baby daughter to arrive safely home. We had three healthy girls.
2 years later in what was a shock to us all, we had a healthy baby boy. Again he was tiny after being born at 31 weeks. There was yet more special care, but our family felt complete.
In all I had 6 natural births, and 4 caesarean sections, but with 4 healthy children, we are done.
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