Oscar 31/07/16

Everything in my pregnancy had been going fine, no problems at all. We had been to America for 2 weeks, I had awful travel sickness but other than that I was fine.

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#misCOURAGE 07/09/17 by Elizabeth

As I sit to write this I am only 2 days away from the first anniversary of losing our baby Oscar.

Everything in my pregnancy had been going fine, no problems at all. We had been to America for 2 weeks, I had awful travel sickness but other than that I was fine.

We had been back a week and I was at work when I suddenly started getting stomach pains. I thought I needed the toilet as it felt like really bad trapped gas. I kept trying to go and nothing.

I called my mum and asked if she would take me to the hospital after I finished work as I was getting pains. 2 hours later I had to ring her back to ask to go straight away as the pains were getting worse and I had terrible pressure.

I rang my husband and he met me to go with my mum and I to the hospital. We got to a&e and they asked if we had come to visit someone, I explained what was happening and they asked me to take a seat. I felt like I needed to have a wee, as I stood up there was a sudden gush of warm liquid down my legs which soaked down my trousers.

At first being so naive I thought I had wet myself. I got into the toilet and said to my mum it didn't smell and it must has been my waters. I knew then that nothing could be done, I knew it was too late and I was hysterical. My mum went to get help and there was a room full of people all of a sudden. I was taken through to triage where they took bloods, put in a cannula and check my blood pressure - it was 187/112. I was rushed up to the labour ward and they said they would need to do a speculum examination. They could already see him and my only choice was to deliver there and then. My husband didn't realise until that moment that being 17+2 meant I had to deliver, he thought they would be able to give me a pill.

At 3.48pm Oscar was born weighing 135g. We didn't want to know the gender at the time and I asked that they just take him away. It wasn't until later we found out he was a boy and we named him. An hour or so later they moved me to a double room where my husband would be able to stay with me. I then had to shower followed by making decisions about what we wanted to do with him. We chose to have him cremated. We now have some of his ashes in necklaces that we never take off.

4 days after leaving the hospital I ended up being readmitted, I was passing blood clots the size of my hand. I had to then be scraped to get the remainder out and was scanned the next morning to make sure they were happy with what was left in there. That was followed up with another scan 2 weeks later - the day we were originally supposed to have our 20 week scan.

Follow up appointments with the consultant informed us that tests after the loss showed I had an infection and I was group b strep positive. They weren't sure if my cervix opened too early and the infection got in or if the infection was in there before and caused it to open early. I was told in my next pregnancy they would keep an eye on my cervix to see if it was incompetent and whether I would need a cervical stitch. We now know that my cervix was incompetent and that's why we lost our baby boy.

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Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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