The one that got away

The physical pain was nothing compared to the mental battle I faced every day after that.

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.

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#misCOURAGE stories, 13/01/2017

There I was. Graduated from high school for less than a week. I was in and out of a mentally and sexually absuive relationship, but he and I decided when I graduated, we would end things officially.

We had our "one last time" and this time was different from any other time.

He warned me he was about to finish inside of me and said "i'm going to make sure you always have me with you". Call this what you want, but by the time I said no, it was too late.

Fast forward one month. I miss my first period. Fast forward two months. I miss my second period. Fast forward three months. I finally told my best friend I had missed three months of periods and she made me sit with her in Mcdonalds, drink an entire sweet tea, and go piss on a stick.

I kid you not, when I said I cried the whole way to the bathroom, I meant it.

What had I become? I wasn't even a freshman in college yet, and I was already on my way to dropping out. This boy that I loved, was nowhere to be find, nor did I want him to be found.

I ended up refusing to take the test, waited a week, had a 12 day long period, and went to the doctor. The physical pain was nothing compared to the mental battle I faced every day after that.

I kept it a secret for a year, and didn't tell my friend who took me to Mcdonalds until we were sitting in Ihop an entire year later on the anniversary.

To this day, I always blame myself and get angry with myself at what ignorance I was providing this baby. I find it so hard to forget it ever happened, but I think we all know that doesn't happen.

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Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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